Dreaming of the Darkness

by Sandy S.

12-12-95

I had been invited to a party that drew a large number of people, none of which I knew. I was freshly moved into the city, and I wanted to see who made the city come to life in the daylight hours.
My new neighbor invited me to the extravaganza when she brought over a housewarming gift of chocolate pie which she promptly began cutting with one of the knives I was sorting through on the kitchen table. She was tiny and rather like a bird that could not stop talking once she started. She said she sure was glad to finally have a neighbor that was closer to her own age, and would I like to go to a little get together with her? I must have looked uncertain because she said, "Of course you do." Pulling me upright, she tugged me down the hall to the bedroom where she opened the recently filled closet.
She chose the short black dress I was wearing tonight, and she left me at a table to absorb my surroundings while she went to find us some drinks. I watched her red dress disappear into the crowd and then noted the layout of the room.
I sat in the midst of a sea of round tables overlaid with pearl white tablecloths and held in place by a centerpiece of red and white silk roses. The lighting was dim except for hazy spotlights of soft beams that rained down over the people dancing to the almost overwhelming beat and the people mingling and talking. I was beginning to feel out of place...like someone spying on a group of people I had no business spying on.

Then, I saw a man sitting alone. What he wore I did not notice, but I decided to discover perhaps if he felt as I did. He scanned me up and down when I settled myself beside him, but he said nothing. I said hello and made a few nondescript comments about the atmosphere. Still, he said nothing; his only motion was to take a sip from the sweating bottle he lazily cupped in his palm.

I finally gave up, satisfied with a comfortable silence, but I was relieved to see my neighbor sidling through the people wearing a large smile. She handed me a glass, her sparkling chatter mute for the moment. The man beside me stirred in his seat in interest, and she flashed him an interested glance in return.

I accepted the cool glass in thanks and told her I wanted to explore the place for a while. Her eyes were grateful, and I was free in unrestricted movement to wander among the almost completely clear tables.

I walked deliberately to defy the throbbing, urgent music, and I was conscious of being somewhere between concentrated thinking and the oblivion of feeling. Lost in reverie, I set my empty glass on the blank canvas of one table and promptly pressed my face into a thick chest.

Startled, I slammed my vision precisely in line with a pair of orbs the color of the clear azure sky when it caps a snow-covered field. The blueness gained complete audience with my senses, and I felt, heard, saw, and tasted nothing else.

He broke away first, and any apology that had been forced down faded on my lips as he slipped past and into the flowing, swaying crowd. He met my gaze once before he vanished, and I stood transfixed as the corners of his mouth lifted in remote amusement that bubbled up into his glittering eyes.

He was gone. The music swept over me again, reclaiming a place in my attention, and I had to grip the edge of a nearby table as a wave of vertigo came with the sound. I did not attempt to follow him and instead unsteadily retraced my steps to the vacancy that my neighbor had left for me.

A hastily scribbled note on my new neighbor's damp drink napkin asked if I would catch a cab home. This was perfect.

Still feeling lightheaded, I checked my dress coat and ebony handbag out of the coatroom. Making sure all my money was in my purse, I stepped into the shade of night. The earth breathed a soft breeze around me, chilling my barely clad legs and streaking the music from inside the building across the quiet.

I wrapped my arms around my ribs and moved to the edge of the street. Street lamps dotted both sides of the sidewalk, and I glanced left and right before slipping past the parked cars and crossing the deserted road.

The phone booth stood alone in front of a field that served as a parking lot for the party. The fluorescent beacon that poured forth from the booth seemed to draw me in like a moth entranced by the warmth and safety promised by the light. The enclosing walls made me more aware of my entire body, and my breathing seemed uncannily loud to my ears. For some reason, this consciousness comforted my racing heart, and I calmly undid the drawstrings of my purse and fished for one of the two quarters I had thrown in my bag in case of emergency.

I carefully picked up the phone receiver which was greasy with numerous fingerprints, listened and prayed for the steady pulse of a dial tone, and positioned my coin halfway into the slot. Although the tone sounded slightly off the normal pitch, the phone was definitely in working order, and I almost dropped my quarter into the guts of the machine.

I froze.

A hand sheathed in a gray leather glove gripped my shoulder firmly but gently.

I let the receiver fall toward the ground and closed my right hand into a fist around the quarter as I whirled to face the owner of the hand. If there had been room to stumble backwards, I would have fallen, but the intensity written in his eyes and the strength of his hands on my forearms held me upright. The quarter clattered to the floor, measuring the amount of time he held me captive.

The beat of my heart echoed off the transparent walls of the booth, and my gaze must have betrayed my fear because he spoke, his voice low and full.

"Do not be afraid."

Fear was replaced by rage at his words, and I shook his hands off my arms in defiance of the physical power discrepancy between us. How dare he follow me! And though perhaps I should be, I was not afraid of him!

I glared up at his pale, white face. His cheeks were tinged pink by the wind, and his lips were full and blushing as well, but his eyebrows were a delicate gold, and his eyelashes were colorless around blue eyes that were dark and liquid with emotion. The top of his head was coated in darkness, but a strand of hair swung in front of his eyes like a shiny scarlet ribbon.

He spoke again in the same soft tone, so my anger had to cool in order for me to hear his words. "I noticed your friend left without you, and since you are new in town, I wanted to make sure that you arrived home safely."

"How did you know I just moved here?" I demanded. Had he been spying on me?

He smiled briefly. "Maggie usually doesn't bring a friend to a party, and I noticed the way you were observing the people...the way you were inhaling your surroundings."

"You know Maggie?" I asked dumbly.

"I know most everyone in the city," he said without any form of arrogance. "I am a spectator of humans in general."

"Oh." I pushed past him suddenly feeling claustrophobic in the little booth. "Excuse me. I am going home." I began to walk away from him.

I had made several yards of headway in the direction of my house when he cried out to me.

"Wait!"

His voice had come from far behind me; yet, he was by my side with a whispering gust of air. I glanced at him in surprise. How could he have done that? If he had run, he was not even out of breath.

I found my tongue. "I do not appreciate being watched or studied, and I wish you would stop following me." I could not look into his eyes; I shied away from any connection I could not deny.

"You forgot your quarter."

I snatched the cold coin from his uniformly gloved fingers. "Thank you. I did not forget it; I was merely trying to get away from you." My voice almost broke. The fierceness of what I felt in his presence was frightening me.

"I said, you need not be afraid of me."

Was he reading my mind? "I am most certainly not afraid of you!"

"You abandoned calling for a cab, so you would not have to stand and wait for it with me."

I sped my pace up suddenly. "You are incorrigible!"

He caught my elbow between his thumb and index finger, pulling me toward him. "How can you say that when you hardly know me?"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I cannot."

I spun on him and stood unmoving before him in the shadows. "And why is that?"

He refused to step back, and he smiled. (I could have strangled him then!) "I did not want you to be harmed on the way home on your first night out."

"I only live a few blocks from here."

"Does one have to say please to see a girl safely home?"

Still unable to look directly at him, I gave in with a smile of my own. I shook my head. "Since you asked so politely, I would appreciate the company on the way home."
I flicked my hair over my shoulder as I resumed the journey toward my house. "And I am not a girl. I am a woman."

"Point taken." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat and got in step with me.

We walked in silence, a silence that requires no words, and when we reached my front door, he faced me. I could hardly make him out in the darkness. He touched my shoulder so gently that I drew nearer automatically, and I again was trapped by his power over me.

Then, he said, "I better go."

He disappeared into the shadows before I could utter a sound, and I stood mutely staring after him for several seconds before I turned numbly and unlocked the door.

* * *

Maggie tapped on my back door the next morning as I was spreading grape jelly on my toast. I motioned her in with a wave of my hand and reached to fill a mug of steaming, deep chestnut-colored coffee for her.

Her expression was brimming with sunshine as she accepted the liquid and my good morning. Her demeanor was contagious, and I borrowed her enthusiasm, wearing a renewed vigor in my movements. I even forgot to be miffed at her sudden leave of absence the previous night. As I leaned against the counter and swirled around the jelly with my spoon, she clattered down at the kitchen table and opened her mouth to let out a gush of words.

"I'm sorry I left you last night, but Scott and I were getting along so well, and we wanted to go somewhere so we could talk. He's so nice and such a gentleman. It doesn't hurt anything that he's so cute, too. We drove to my house in my car, and we stayed up until four o'clock just talking. Then, he slept on my couch until I got up and took him back to the lot to pick up his car. He invited me to dinner tonight! Can you believe it?"

I grinned at her rather disjointed outburst. "I'm happy for you if you really like him."

"Oh, he is adorable!" Her face sobered. "How did you make out?"

I had forgotten...simply blocked out the incident from conscious thought, but now everything came back in a cold, crashing wave.

"Well," I hesitated.

Maggie stared at me with an intrigued, curious look.

"I had an encounter with this really strange man."

"Oh?" she encouraged. "What's his name?"

I bit my lip in concentration. Why was I having trouble remembering when the events had been so clear only a few moments before? "I don't know. I don't think he told me his name. It's so funny; I can barely remember what happened, and I remembered it all a few seconds ago...."

"I know who it was," Maggie interrupted. "You ran into him inside."

"How did you know that?" I was more than a little surprised and relieved that she had known whom I was talking about.

"He's a weird one. No one knows much about him except that he throws that huge party once a year. He rented that whole building and furnished everything!" She shook her head. "He must be rich or something because he really goes all out, but he is enigmatic. There is something I don't trust about him, and if I were you, I would avoid his company...."

Maggie changed the subject and continued to babble on and on as I drifted into private thoughts to ponder what had happened and to evaluate her opinions.

* * *

I lit the final candle, and the flame grew on the wick until a tiny circle of wax began to melt. Drawing in a breath, I let my vision follow the flickering shadows playing on the walls, which were alive because I lit almost all the candles I owned and set them in various strategic places around the living room. A fire in the fireplace was the brightest flame, and I had arranged a mug of hot chocolate, an addictive book, and several soft pillows around the blaze. The night was black and deathly cold outside...perfect weather for staying inside.
I had just finished taking a hot, two-hour bath, which had soaked all the tiny aches out of my muscles, and I had slipped into my favorite silk nightgown. Satisfied with the arrangements, I knotted my hair into a bun on top of my head and lay down among the pillows, snuggling deep down. I was soon engrossed in the book and sipped the sweet drink.

A chiming bell startled me out of my relaxed state and interrupted the middle of a paragraph. I raised my head, alert. I set aside the book.

Then, I recognized the doorbell and rose without thinking, slid open the locks, and turned the knob.

He stood on the doormat, hands clasped behind his back. He wore tan slacks and a pale green, long-sleeved shirt that matched the color of my nightgown, which I fingered self-consciously. His blue eyes reflected the light of the candles that crept past me to meet him, and his hair gleamed of gold and rubies.

He smiled, and I let him inside without a word. I shut the door and followed him down the short hallway into the living room. He glanced back to make certain I was still present, and when he was fully enveloped by the fire, I spoke quietly.

"Have a seat anywhere." My stomach trembled, but my voice was clear and sure.

"Would you like some hot chocolate?" I asked as he sank to the edge of the brick fireplace so that half his body was enshrouded in the fire's radiation.

He grimaced slightly, almost undetectably. "No, thank you."

I perched on the couch with my hands in my lap and my bare feet buried in pillows and merely watched him with apprehension and curiosity.

"I heard you were working for the computer company downtown." He spoke softly and avoided my gaze as if he knew he overwhelmed me.

"Yes, and I enjoy my job very much. I worked the same position in another division, but the division closed down, so the company found comparable jobs elsewhere for most of the employees." I paused. "What do you do for a living?"

I was particularly interested in the answer to my question.

"I help people who are sick."

"Oh." So that was why he was so rich! "A doctor?"

For some reason, he discovered something humorous in my query. "Something like that."

"I used to want to be a nurse or physical therapist because I wanted to help people in pain. I had an aunt who had cancer, and my mother took care of her. My aunt often sang me songs and read me stories when I sat on her lap, and I hated that she hurt so much. I would have done anything to be able to help her."

"What made you get involved with computers?"

"My father said it was the future, and he encouraged me in that direction. He had a powerful influence over me...although sometimes I..."

"Wish you could change it all," he finished my statement for me.

"Yes."

"Would you like a chance to help people with me?"

Taken aback, I stared at him. He was keeping his eyes averted from me into the fire. "I-I don't know."

"I would help you understand everything. You are strong; I know you can handle anything." He almost seemed to be talking to himself now. "Of course, you would have to leave behind the security of your current lifestyle."

I bit my lip. He was practically handing me a chance to turn back time, and I would not disappoint my father because he had died a few years earlier. Besides, I thought he would give me his blessing to follow my own way.

"If you are serious about the proposition, then, I accept."

"Are you certain?" He was hesitant.

I made up for his uncertainty. "Yes, I am sure."

He bowed his head for a moment. "All right. Feel free to decline at any time."

For the first time that evening, his sapphire eyes shone into my own, and I drew in a breath sharply. In an instant, he was next to me on the sofa with his arms encircling me in a snare. He was unnaturally warm from the heat of the fire, but I shivered anyway because I felt two tiny needles of pain on my neck.
Suddenly, the gravity of the situation claimed sensibility in my mind, and the blood drained from my face. Despite all the madness that came tumbling into my head, I realized I had never believed. (Did I truly believe even now?)

He had not moved though he had me trapped, and I knew he was giving me a choice. If I resisted, he would go, but if I yielded, he would give me his most precious gift and force me to say goodbye to the sun.

I made my decision.

I broke free from his strict restraints, and inhaling deeply, I brought my neck forward so that his teeth entered my bloodstream.

At first, the injury ached acutely, and I fought to break the bond, pressing my palm against his chest in almost desperation. Slowly, the distress eased like a raging river that was dammed off to a gentle stream, and I relaxed as he emptied my body's life force as if he were a man dying of thirst in a dehydrated desert. His heart pounded beneath my fingertips, and his muscle's rhythm matched and blended with my own. We made no audible sounds although the flames that surrounded us roared like we were drowning in the fiery sea of hell.

My body became lighter and lighter until I felt weightless, and I knew that if he let loose his arms, I would undoubtedly soar up into the heavens and leave the planet forever. I did not fear whatever was to happen next, and I did not resist when he came to his feet and raced me from the intense blaze of luminescence into the cold shock of night.

He ran, it seemed, faster than the deadly winds of a hurricane, and I managed somehow to turn my head against the abrading force. I tingled as the remainder of the heat in my limbs dissipated into the wind and was reabsorbed by the energy of the living earth.

Was I dying? I did not feel dead. Although my soul was slick with sticky blood, life held onto my fingertips with fierce concentration.

I hardly noticed when the atmosphere changed, and the gale ceased. My vision was blurry as he carried me into the shelter; the only clear object my mind registered was a row of long, pearl-white teeth that glowed against the gulf of shadows. My mind grasped the purity, and the whiteness grew to fill my entire consciousness.

He settled down with me curled despondent on his lap, and his fingers reached out to caress the ivory planks. The diaphanous notes swirled around my desiccated muscles and allowed them to unearth and gather small puddles of oxygenated blood. Instinct guided me slowly up the wall of his chest, past the bundle of throbbing muscle beneath his ribs, and over his rising and falling shoulder to reach his broad neck.

My eyes focused on a pulsating artery that cried out with the richness of life. My entire body was scraping up the last of its vitality, and I wanted what lay beneath the gossamer layer of skin. As if the blood vessel had registered my desire, a thin stream of red liquid erupted with a will of its own through the barrier. My tremulous tongue reached to catch the flowing drops.

My senses were immediately overwhelmed and intoxicated. Every cell of my being was consumed with a need for more. With reborn strength, I reached up and up to suck and suck, joining his powerful essence with my weakened one.

The music drove on with increasing complexity and potency.

His life force played and danced through my blood vessels in time to the notes that erupted forth from his fingertips until suddenly I reached the bottom of his soul. Afraid to resume my original velocity, I hesitated.

The urgency of his movements forced me to continue.

I met with raw, unadulterated pain that swept forward and mingled with the naked motif. The mournful melody permeated every inch of the atmosphere and soon filled my own soul until I was intricately and permanently connected to him.

Slowly, his heart began to palpitate with more and more uncertainty. The music faded into the obscurity of the piano's memory. Vainly and feebly, his trembling hands tried to force me away. Stalwartly, I clung to his neck, passionately trying to regain the euphoria I had just experienced. At last, I felt him summon all his mental energy and hurl the force directly at me.

We tumbled apart.

I was aware that he stood unsteadily. I attempted to imitate his actions, but in the strangeness of never felt inebriation, I collapsed to the smooth ground. Drowsiness washed over me.

He came to my side, and with a struggle, he lifted me onto a soft, cushioned plane. As I sank down, my fingers ran lightly over his forearms. How very odd I felt. With keen awareness of my body, I listened to the blood pumping through my veins, but I was tired. The newness could be explored later.

I hardly heard him leave.

I slept, dreaming of the darkness.

THE END