 |
Stultiloquentia's Foolish Words |
|
Jossverse | Ardaverse | Potterverse | Gateverse | Sundry Literature
I write fanfiction. What? Some people collect china cows!
Standard Disclaimer: Following each of these stories all characters will be hosed off, issued complimentary bathrobes and returned to Mutant Enemy/the Tolkien estate/Mandos/whoever else claims legal authority over their fates. I make no profit.
Feedback is cherished, even if it's just a fly-by, "Jolly good!" If you spot errors, or want to argue mythology, don't be shy. I'm extremely hard to insult, I appreciate criticism, and I love talking about writing. If you want to archive anything, drop me a line first. My e-address is stultiloquentia AT yahoo DOT ca.
Exterminators Aren't PC (483
words)
January15, 2008
Notes: For quinara.
Summary: Buffy and Spike encounter a dragon.
Paid in Full (804 words)
May 23, 2007
Notes: Wrote this yonks ago. Did a sweat lodge today; got rebirth on
the brain.
Summary: Angel takes her hands in his as she stares into his eyes,
down at their entwined fingers, taking in the beginnings of his California tan
and the rolled back shirtsleeves, then back up to his face. "That...that
prophesy," she breathes. (Buffy/Angel/Spike, kinda; Post-NFA)
Getting It (656 words)
February 13, 2007
Warnings: Some adult language, sex and banging people's heads against
walls
Notes: For germaine_pet. Unbetaed. This shunts into the middle of So
This Is How They Are, the first story I ever wrote in the Jverse. It ought
to stand alone, however.
Summary: Spike won't leave. (Spike/Angel, Buffy; Post-NFA)
Stick Shift (Redux) (2951 words)
August 11, 2006
Warnings: This story contains graphic sex. This story is mostly
graphic sex. Readers who know me primarily in real life, especially, for the
love of Ghod, my mother, are strongly advised to surf elsewhere, if they want
to look me in the eye ever again. The rest of you pervy hordes, come on in!
Notes: This story is a previously written story, much fattened. Grateful
thanks to tkp, femmenerd, and germaine_pet for thoughtful, entertaining discussion
and beta help.
Summary: Buffy stakes herself a vampire. (Buffy/Spike; Post-NFA)
Commentary
Track for Stick Shift
 |
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
The River Sisters (4418 words)
April 24, 2006
Written by Quinara. Illustrated by Stultiloquentia.
Disclaimer: Standard, save that Letia, Lola and Beatrix belong to us.
Notes: Quinara would like to thank Stultiloquentia for her sublime
beta work - and alpha work. Stultiloquentia would like to thank Quinara for
blind faith in her ability to locate the business end of a pencil, and suggesting
the project in the first place.
Summary: Never trust a bint in a pond. (Buffy/Spike; Early S6)
Fem!Spike WIP Liberation/Bonfire (3239
words)
March 27, 2006
Warnings: Schmoop, smut, dirty words
Notes: This one ain't never gonna grow, so I'm carting the brush out
to the bonfire. Ahh, cleansing.
Summary: Ten pages of Buffy/Girl!Spike dialogue, scenage and notes,
some of it rather good, if I do say so myself, hard R in places, be warned,
more of it schmoopy. *hands out plastic spoons* (Buffy/Spike; S6/S7)
Self-Indulgent Post-NFA Spuffy Meander
(2649 words)
December 7, 2005
Warnings: Foul language, non-graphic violence, some, er, humping
Summary: See title. (Buffy/Spike; Post-NFA)
Illyria Writes a Poem (310 words)
September 2, 2005
Warnings: Sestina
Summary: Grief management through excessively complicated poetry. (Illyria;
Post-NFA)
Lit/Crit: Lessons and Beneath You (906
words)
August 18, 2005
Warnings: Adult language
Summary: Two BtVS reviews with ficcish bits in. (Buffy, Spike; S7)
Armadillo (5500 words)
July 24, 2005
Warnings: Foul language, groping
Summary: Much delayed Spuffy ficathon assignment for Sandy, who requested
the following:
- Oz
- Resolve the issue of Buffy dating an immortal
- Buffy and Spike are in a country outside the US
- Mix of comedy, romance, and drama
- No human Spike
- No slash
- No scenes at night
(Buffy/Spike; Post-NFA)
Hypothetical (203 words)
July 2, 2005
Summary: On the nature of prophesy. (Scoobies; S4)
Stultiverse Sketches (742 words)
June 7, 2005
Warnings: Mild adult language
Summary: Snapshots from the aftermath. (Scoobies; Post-Chosen)
Campfire Tale for the End of Days
(1757 words)
May 26, 2005
Warnings: Non-graphic violence
Summary: A Slayer origin story. "So. A very long time ago, Demons
walked the earth. Stomped, also. Flew. Slithered, swam, percolated, oozed."
(Original characters; Pre-series)
Commentary
Track for Campfire Tale
Little Eva (200 words)
December 18, 2004
Summary: I'm on a mission to redeem Eve (from Angel, that is) through
drabbles. A project possibly doomed by its sheer design, but I'll never know
until I try. Watching the first episodes of AtS 5, I was sure they were trying
to set her up to fall in love with Angel and eventually pull a Sidney Carton,
but had to shift gears when the actor turned out to be in over her head and
nervous as a rabbit -- even James Marsters couldn't create chemistry with her.
But hey, that's something I can work with. What if she was just a stupid
little girl from U.C. Santa Cruz? (Eve; S5)
Stick Shift (500 words)
September 10, 2004
Warnings: Kinky sex
Summary: Every once in a while I inflict weird challenges upon myself.
This one: write a sex scene composed entirely of dialogue, clocking in at exactly
500 words. It's kind of stupid. (Buffy/Spike; Post-NFA)
Kiss Me Sweet and Twenty (600 words)
September 4, 2004
Warnings: Adult language
Summary: Youth's a stuff will not endure. (Buffy/Spike; Post-NFA)
So This is How They Are (1568 words)
September 1, 2004
Warnings: Mild adult language
Summary: Dawn provides dish about Buffy's reconnection with Spike,
après les déluges. (Buffy/Spike, Dawn; Post-NFA)
 |
 |
 |
 |
The Still Point (2822 words)
July 7, 2005
Warnings: Extreme mush. Also, sex.
Summary: Midsummer Night. Arwen. Aragorn. Well, somebody had
to do it! This draws a little on the Curious Elf series below. (Arwen/Aragorn;
3rd Age - Post-Ring War )
A Song of Salt (1037 words)
July 13, 2003
Summary: How Cirdan's hair turned grey. (Cirdan/Tuor implied; 1st Age)
 |
Galvorn Awards 2005: Most Anal-Retentive Footnotes |
Misc. Poems (221 words)
May 19, 2003
Summary: Responses to various poetry challenges. (Aragorn, Feanor,
Galadriel; 3rd Age)
 |
 |
Rose Riddle (1465 words)
April 29, 2003
Summary: In which Meriadoc and his apprentice combine politics and
horticulture, and Celeborn solves an important question. (Merry, Celeborn; 4th
Age)
Commentary
Track for Rose Riddle
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Dusk and Dawn
December 24, 2002
Warnings: Slightly gory dead guy
Summary: Aragorn and an OFC mourn for Halbarad. The HASA Mary-Sue
challenge is entirely responsible for this! (Aragorn; 3rd Age - Ring War)
O Little Town...
December 1, 2002
Warnings: Incineration
Summary: A Christmas carol for Sauron and one for Denethor. (Denethor,
Sauron; 3rd Age - Ring War)
The Master Surgeon of Rohan
November 20, 2002
Warnings: Maggots
Summary: Eomer and Aragorn are busy trying to open the Eastern spice
markets. The Master Surgeon and the Prince of Dol Amroth have a row about field
medicine. A couple of rough sketches from an abandoned WIP. (Imrahil, original
characters; 4th Age)
The Curious Elf
October 31, 2003
Warnings: Non-graphic medical procedure
Summary: A series of stand-alones. This is me trying to get into Arwen's
head. My first real attempt at fanfiction. (Arwen; 3rd Age - The Stewards)
Shadows
Family
Peripheral Vision
Withouten Song
October 29, 2002
Warnings: Spooks
Summary: My answer to HASA's Hallowe'en challenge about Tolkien's Houseless
Elves. A mother rocks her child to sleep. (Original characters; 3rd Age - The
Stewards)
Sheet music for Gabrieles Gretinge: page
1 page 2
Denethor Poetry Challenge
October 2, 2002
Summary: Denethor probably had a sheaf of really bad poetry stuffed
into a cupboard somewhere. (Denethor/?; 3rd Age - The Stewards)
Touch Faith (800 words)
December 18, 2007
Notes: About as close to hurt/comfort as I'm likely to get, and not
terribly close to my baseline characterizations. Lord knows where it came from.
Must be the weather.
Summary: At nine p.m. on a Tuesday, the floo at Grimmauld opens with
an irritable whuf and vomits Draco Malfoy onto the hearthrug. (Harry/Draco pre-slash;
HBP-compliant, marginally.)
Saturday (217 words)
May 28, 2007
Notes: For tkp
Summary: (Harry, Draco, Neville; postwar)
Non-intuitive (521 words)
April 1, 2006
Warnings: Imminent boy-snoggery
Summary: A Gryffindor, a turncoat, and a Chinese finger trap. (Harry/Draco;
HBP-compliant)
Meditatio (1737 words)
August 12, 2008
Warnings: Swimming area is unsupervised. Beware of bog. Don't feed
the metaphors.
Notes: Slight liberties taken wrt the
location scout's Jack's lake view/boat/sorry excuse for a dock. Lightning-fast
beta by MJ. Many cupcakes to Quinara for showering me with Latin.
Summary: Man in a boat. (Jack; pre-final scene of Moebius)
Soaring with Turkeys (537 words)
January15, 2008
Notes: For kyriacarlisle--
Summary: --who asked for Teyla vs. a possibly menacing creature. (Teyla,
Sam; S4)
Science vs. Romance (780 words)
January15, 2008
Notes: For avidrosette.
Summary: Million-dollar spy tech ain't worth beans. (Cam, Jack/Daniel
implied; post-The Shroud)
Untitled (300 words)
May 12, 2007
Fandom: Jane Austen: P&P/Crossover
Notes: For Firerose, who wanted a Jane Austen bad boy. My bunny went
a bit haywire and picked up an extra fandom.
Summary: I'm not spoiling it, but I want to turn the fallout into a
novel, hee hee! (Lydia/Wickham, sort of)
Wormwood (408 words)
February 13, 2007
Fandom: Shakespeare: Hamlet
Warnings: Angsty post-coital snogging
Notes: For angevin2. Betaed by gillo and kyriacarlisle. Inspired by
Sam West's turn
at the RSC in 2001. He played the sexiest Hamlet I've ever seen: an agnostic,
anarchist, socialist Hamlet with crazy bohemian intellectual friends who lit
him up like a lamp whenever they appeared; surely working on his Ph.D. at Wittenberg;
too fucking educated to act without pause. I'm usually a pretty callous Hamlet-watcher,
but Sam broke my heart.
Summary: On the player's bed, he did not look like a prince. (Hamlet/First
Player)
