TITLE: Indecision
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddess@aol.com)
RATING: FRT; deals with character deaths.
CLASSIFICATION: Buffy POV
SPOILERS: Set in the future, so season 4 spoilers, but sort of vaguely.
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them. I'm just holding Spike and Riley hostage. Carolyn's got Xander, May's got Oz, Cathryn's got Ethan, Melissa has Giles, Shelly has Angel, and Gillian has Doyle. You may see them by appointment only.
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't care if it's onlist or not.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: One more story to go. Just one more.

***

I never thought I'd go anywhere else but Sunnydale or Los Angeles. But now I'm in Washington, watching Riley in a coma.

I never should have let him go! But no, I was in pain, I was hurting, I just had to push him away. I already lost one true love...but the other?

I sit here, hour after hour, and stroke his hair softly. He doesn't move, doesn't open his eyes.

Damn that fucking demon! He hurt Riley so badly...I'm surprised he was able to get some of the others out of there. I didn't have the heart to tell him about Forrest and Graham. How they died getting him out of there.

Not that he could hear me anyway.

I didn't know Riley had no family until I got here. The doctors told me I had to make the decision whether I should pull the plug or not. He said Riley had no chance of waking up, and even if he did, he'd be a vegetable.

This wasn't supposed to happen! Is this my reward for outliving the other Slayers? To lose everyone I'd ever known? Anyone I'd ever cared for?

I kiss him lightly, stroking his face one more time, taking a hold of his hand. Then I nod, and the doctor turns off the machines.

Riley....why?

I love you.