TITLE: Boyfriend Bitch-Out
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddess@aol.com)
RATING: FRT
PART OF: Musically Inclined
CLASSIFICATION: Amy/Xander primarily, with mentions of Willow/Oz, Buffy/Devon and Anya/Spike
SPOILERS: Set in a far off season
DISTRIBUTION: Slay This, Other sites with my fic up. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them. I'm just holding Spike hostage. Carolyn's got Xander, May's got Oz, Cathryn's got Ethan, Nikki's got Giles and Shelly has Angel. Gillian, for the hell of it, has Ewan McGregor, but she shares with Rae. You may see them by appointment only. The song is "Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers.
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't care if it's onlist or not.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I had these lyrics sitting in my harddrive, and the fic just came to life. It has a mind of it's own... Dedicated to my girl Sara, because her problems with her boyfriend inspired me to write this.
***
"I can't STAND HIM!!!" Amy yelled, catching Anya, Buffy and Willow's attention. The four of them were lounging around their apartment, Amy having hung up with Xander almost a half-hour before. She'd stayed almost silent the entire time, and this was the first thing she'd said since then.
"What'd he do this time?" Buffy asked, glancing at the newspaper.
"Since when did you start to read the newspaper?" Anya asked, putting down her magazine and looking at the blonde Slayer.
"Since Devon was in it," she replied, continuing to look at the paper.
Amy shook her head. "What he did was cancel another date! This is the fifth in a row!" She started to pace. "I need music. Loud music."
Willow walked over to the stereo and looked through their separate CD collections. "Anything in particular?"
"Something like...'Don't Come Around Here No More'. Or something like that."
Willow continued to look through the CDs. "Anya...you've got the CD."
"Put it in..." Anya said, waving her wrist towards the stereo.
Willow popped in the CD and pressed play.
"Are you sure you want to be listening to this, Amy?" Willow said.
"Hey...you guys have almost perfect relationships. Hell, you and Oz do have a perfect relationship. And then...there's Devon, who's almost always sweet and romantic. And Spike...he's just..."
"Spike, we know," Buffy muttered. "But what's so bad about you and Xander?"
"He keeps breaking dates. He's always looking at other girls. He's stopped being the Xander I started to date. And now he's gone all the time and I can't get a hold of him!"
"Well, he's a guy. It's sort of expected for him to change," Buffy said. "Back me up here, Anya."
Anya nodded. "Trust me, Amy. They all change. Men are pigs, whether they're alive or dead. The undead ones...they're sort of better."
"Face it, Amy. Only you and me have relatively normal boyfriends," Buffy said.
"Oz is normal! Except for the werewolf thing..." Willow said, speaking up.
Amy cracked a smile. "This is sad, One vampire, one werewolf and two humans...we're a sad lot."
"Well, there's a former vampire in that group. You forget...I made Spike human again," Willow said. "But he isn't by any means normal. Still..."
"What?" Amy asked, plopping down on the couch next to Anya.
"Well, in our little group, we have two witches, one of whom is a former rat, a former demon and a Slayer. So, we're not really any better off than them."
Buffy looked up. "Is that really so bad? I mean, I know I never thought I could fall for a normal guy. But normality keeps me all sane-like."
"Basically, the two most extreme abnormals, me and Spike, were paired off. Then you have the super cute gag me couples, and then there's our mature couple, you and Xander," Anya said.
"You're not extreme abnormals," Buffy said. "Extreme abnormals was me and Angel."
"Isn't that the truth," Willow muttered, taking a sip of her tea.
Buffy sent her a short glare. "Anything compared to us is normal."
Amy shook her head. "Did this turn into a bitch fest?" she muttered to Anya.
"I believe it has..."
"But Amy, you and Xander have the most normal relationship. Yours has been around the longest. And...you two really like each other."
Amy nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I like him a lot. But...he's getting so distant now that half the time I don't even know why I bother."
"Hey...it'll work out," Anya said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "If I can deal with Spike's terminal lateness, you can deal with Xander."
"How'd you fix that, anyway?" Buffy asked.
"Easy. I told him our dates are a half hour earlier than they actually were until he got the point. And he showed up when I told him to and I was the late one."
"Maybe I should break a few dates with Xander," Amy mused, standing up. "Look...I'm going to change. I'll be back in a few."
There was a knock on the door.
"I'll get it," Willow said, moving towards the door. Opening it, she said, "Amy, it's for you."
"Tell whoever it is to go away."
"No, Amy...get the door," Willow said more forcefully. Amy turned away from her room and headed back towards the door.
"Hey," Xander said, standing in the doorway.
"I don't want to hear it," Amy said, starting to shut the door in his face.
"Wait!" he said, forcing his way inside. "Just...come out here, okay?"
Amy turned around, sighed and followed him outside. "What is it, Xander?"
"Look...I'm really sorry. But...I got a job. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I had to keep getting called back into work, so all I could do was cancel our dates and I'm really sorry."
"What?" Amy asked, looking at him again.
"I have a job. I mean, it's not a great one, but I work for the local news doing copy and stuff. At night. And I just got my hours switched to after classes and stuff." He grinned at her and pulled a single rose from behind his back.
Amy took the rose and smelled it, a smile forming on her face. "Thanks," she said quietly.
"Anyway, I canceled our date tonight because I thought I would have to work. But...my boss caught the tail end of our conversation and informed me that from now on I would be having the midday shift. So...would you like to go on a date with me tonight?"
"I'd love to, actually."
He grinned and took her hand. "Well, can I come in and wait while you get ready. Or are they still having a boyfriend bitch-out in there?"
Amy started to blush. "You...you heard?"
Xander nodded. "Most of it."
"Oh Goddess," she muttered.
"Hey...it's cool," he said, opening the door. "We do the same thing about you girls..."