TITLE: How Would I Know You
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddess@aol.com)
RATING: FRT
CLASSIFICATION: Cordelia/Doyle musings
SPOILERS: All of "Angel"
DISTRIBUTION: Slay This, other sites with my fic up. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them. I'm just holding Spike hostage. Carolyn's got Xander, May's got Oz, Cathryn's got Ethan, Shelly has Angel, and Gillian has Doyle. You may see them by appointment only. Each title contains a lyric from Four Star Mary's "Run."
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it. Don't care if it's onlist or not.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This one is very little action, more of the letter. It's also a bit shorter due to the fact the next part is going to be long. I'm also suffering from a bout of homesickness, so I'm watching "Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil." And to answer Kate's question...the reason I have the number is because it's an 8 piece series. It's just so the people who archive them can archive them in order. And so I can keep track.

***

"You're very beautiful. I can't see why the only men who were really interested in you were arrogant, self-righteous bastards. And you honestly don't deserve that.

You deserve someone who knows you're special, who doesn't just look at what you look like, but who you really are. Someone who understands the way you live and the things you have to do.

In all honesty, you need me."

Cordelia smiled slightly, looking up at the door to see Kate standing there.

"Hey," Kate said quietly. "Angel called. Said he knew something about a case I'm on. Is he in his office?"

Cordelia nodded, pointing to the door.

"I heard about your friend," she said quietly, sitting down across from her desk. "I'm sorry."

"Who told you?"

"Angel."

Cordelia looked up and away, towards his office. "You two are talking a lot these days."

"It's because I know what he's going through. My partner...he was my close friend. He was shot saving my life. And this was six or seven years ago."

Cordelia nodded again, rubbing her temples. "But you moved on, right?"

"It took me a while, but yes, I did." They both looked up as the office door opened and Wesley walked out, Angel following him. Angel introduced Wesley and Kate before inviting Kate into his office, all of which happened with Cordelia scarcely noticing.

She was too immersed in the rest of that part of the letter.

"If you've ever wondered how I knew you, even through all the teasing and the put downs you used, I'll tell you now.

I saw you with Angel, doing the simple things that you normally do to fight demons. I watched you with the day to day things you did, and the way you acted when your attention was devoted to something other than fashion.

It's the reason I could see the slightest changes in you, whether it was those new shoes you wore that Angel failed to notice or if you wore a new color lipstick.

I liked you best when you were simple. Not too much make-up, hair straight and pulled back with a simple headband, jeans and a simple shirt. Normally when you dressed like that, things were the best between us.

And that's how I choose to remember you."