TITLE: Somewhat Happy Ending
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddess@aol.com)
RATING: FRT
CLASSIFICATION: Lindsey/Buffy relationship, Lindsey/Spike friendship.
SUMMARY: Now Spike has the hard decision to make.
SPOILERS: AU after "Crush," but mentions events in "Dead End."
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, I don't own it. Joss Whedon, Kazui Sandollar, The WB, UPN, et. al. most likely do.
FEEDBACK: Please send it offlist and let me know it's feedback; I do rapid delete on my account due to a lot of spam.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Used Challenge In A Can and got "Buffy," "alive" and "candles."

***

They heard the news through Angel: Spike had gotten dusted by an Animus demon.

Lindsey remembered something interesting about the word "animus." In Latin, there were so many definitions of the word: character, intellect, memory, consciousness, courage, vivacity, bravery, will, spirit...and soul.

Spike had gotten his soul back. He'd left Sunnydale to find a way of retrieving it. And a soul stealing monster came and took it away. It seemed ironic, almost.

It had been a few years since Spike had left Sunnydale. He's never rolled back into town, mowing down the "Welcome to Sunnydale!" sign. But, as far as Angel knew, he'd been happy. He helped people. In the end, Angel told them, that was all that had mattered.

In the five years since Lindsey found the letter, things had changed. Spike had been right; vampires died because they wouldn't change. And while Lindsey may have felt dead inside, he knew he wasn't a vampire. He was human, and he did need to change.

It took him about a year to realize Buffy's feelings towards him were more than friendly, and only three months after that before he discarded the worries about the age difference and admitted to her that he felt the same way. Barring the occasional disagreement, they were doing just fine.

Anya and Xander had reconciled, gotten married and were expecting their first child sometime in the next few days. Willow and Tara were still at the Summers' residence, watching it while Buffy decided whether to sell or not, since she had moved in with Lindsey and Dawn had gone off to college. The two women were just as happy as they had when they began dating.

And then Angel's phone call came out of the blue. When it had looked like it was going to be a happy ending after all...it wasn't.

***

Buffy lit the red candles, shaped like a heart, in the center of the grass. It was only Dawn, Buffy and Lindsey there, remembering an important person in their lives.

Dawn sat on the grass. "It feels strange that we're alive and he's...not. I expected him to be around forever, you know?"

Buffy nodded, putting her hand on Dawn's head. "Yeah, I know."

Dawn set down a rose by the candles. "Where are his ashes?"

"Angel kept them," Buffy said, looking at Lindsey. "Spike was his childe, after all." She paused, and then added, "Lindsey? What are you reading?"

He handed the letter to Buffy, who smiled and handed it to Dawn. "When did he write this?" Dawn asked.

"Right before he left," Lindsey said.

"And you've kept it?"

Lindsey nodded. "He was right. On most points, anyway." Lindsey smiled. "If he hadn't found me at that bar, I never would have come here."

Buffy wrapped her arms around his waist. "Then I'm glad he found you." She looked up at the sky. "Thanks, Spike."

Dawn folded up the letter and handed it to Lindsey. "Here."

Lindsey looked at it, then shook his head. "Let's leave it here. Better place than in my pocket."

Dawn nodded and carefully set the note on the ground, putting the rose on top of it. Then she put her arm around Lindsey's waist as the three of them walked away from the makeshift memorial site.

Suddenly, it began to rain. A light, misting rain. But the candles still burned, and while the ink on the letter started to blur, you could still read Spike's archaic handwriting the next morning when Dawn went to go collect everything. She reread the letter aloud, smiling at the end.

"Anyways, later. I'm sure I'll be back. There's some sort of magnetic force that draws us all to Sunnyhell at least once. Till I run over the sign again, Spike."