TITLE: Faith & Xander's Fantasies
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddes@aol.com)
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just tell me!
RATING: FRC
SPOILERS: None, unless I miraculously get hired to write for the show.
DISCLAIMER: Everything except what comes out of my pretty little head belongs to Joss and Mutant Enemy. Or, in the case of the Fantasy Island characters, ABC and it's ilk.
FEEDBACK: Wanted. Needed. SEND IT!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is a demented idea I'd tossed around for a while. Anyway, it's a BtVS/Fantasy Island (the new, now cancelled one) crossover. This is my first crossover piece and deals more with the BtVS charachters. Spike is sort of a chaperone to everyone else's fantasies...except one. And he gets something out of each one.

***

Harry was in charge of these two, and he was hating every minute of it. Well, not with Xander. He was pretty easygoing, and knew exactly what he wanted. But the girl, Faith...

If Harry had to pick some words to describe her, those that sprung to mind were too vulgar to be repeated in mixed company.

Xander was easy to work with. He wanted to be rich, popular and smart, but remain the class clown, a lovable person. He said, basically, he wanted to be the anti-snob. Harry guessed it had something to do with his ex-girlfriend, but didn't press much.

But Faith had been sent to the island with no fantasy, and it was up to Harry to figure out what it was.

"So, what have you wanted?"

Faith glared at him. "I have no idea. A decent lay, maybe?"

Harry looked shocked for a second, but that was all it took. Faith described, in detail, what a "good lay" was, and by the time she got up to leave, he was past shock. He was mortified and horrified.

"Mr. Roarke," he said, trying to chase down his boss.

"Yes, Harry?" Mr. Roarke asked mildly.

"Are you sure we can fulfill that girls fantasy?" he asked hesitantly.

Mr. Roarke sighed. "Can you not do a simple task?"

"Have you tried to talk to her?" Harry responded, and Mr. Roarke shook his head. "You try, and you'll see what I mean."

Mr. Roarke took off towards Faith's room. About a half-hour later, he tracked Harry down. "I see what you mean, and I'm sorry for doubting your competency. But, I managed to find out her fantasy, and I'll take over fulfilling it. You, take care of Mr. Harris."

***

"Well, Faith. This is what you wanted," Mr. Roarke said. "The perfect one night stand, the best in your life. I'm afraid, however, that I can merely replay it."

"You mean it's already happened?" she asked indignantly.

"Yes," Mr. Roarke said, and suddenly, they were watching the scene unfold before then. As Faith was getting beaten by one of those women warriors, Xander pulled up and knocked the creature out. Then he ushered Faith into the car and sped off towards the motel.

"Harris? He was my best lay?" she said, utterly shocked.

Mr. Roarke merely nodded, and they were outside the motel as Faith kicked Xander out. "You kicked him out, and he went on to bigger and better things."

"Like?" Faith asked, not impressed.

"Well, we're making an exception. Both of you will coexist in his fantasy. You'd be surprised..."

***

Xander Harris was King.

Literally. For anything that had a King, he was it. Freshman Class King. Homecoming King. Prom King. And he loved every minute of it.

He also realized why Cordy had loved it all so much.

He was set to get his lunch and then jet to the library for a research date with Buffy and Willow when someone pulled him into the janitors closet.

"Faith?"

"Yeah, Harris, it's me."

"What are you doing here?"

"What's-his-name that runs this place stuck us both in your fantasy."

"Oh." He looked at her. "You not having one of your own?"

"Can't. They say it's already happened."

"What was it, if I can ask?"

"My best lay."

"Oh," he said again, wanting to drop the subject. "I'm gonna be late." He began to open the door.

"It was you."

The door slammed shut. "Oh."

"Want to try again?" she asked, a lustful smile on her face as she tried to kiss him, but he backed away.

"Not really." With that, he opened the door and walked towards the library.

"Damn, I can't believe he did that to me."

"Well, love, you did it to him first." Faith turned around and was staring face to face with Spike.

"What the hell do you want?"

Spike shrugged. "I'm chaperoning."

Faith snorted. "You?"

"Yes, me, and if you try to mess up his fantasy, love, you'll be in for a nasty surprise." Spike moved towards the door, but Faith pushed him against the wall.

"Like what?"

"Love, try your worst nightmare," he said, glaring down at her.

She smiled at him, and said slyly, "What if I try and change yours?"

He turned her around, so she was up against the wall. "What, want to shag a vampire?"

She shrugged. "Maybe." She grinned at him. "You want it rough?"

Spike got within a few inches of her face, his lips close to her, and said, "No way in hell." He let go of her arms and walked out of the closet, slamming the door behind him.

She stared at the closed door in astonishment. Not one, but two guys rejected her. She must be losing her touch...

Time to try again. "With dead boy as my main target..." she muttered to herself as she left the janitors closet and headed outside.

***

Xander was pretty content with the way things were.

It wasn't like he was stuck in a rut, not really. There were occasional "I do this all the time" moments, but those were to be expected. And in this fantasy, he was wildly popular, but surprised everyone by snagging the most popular transfer student ever, Buffy Summers, no matter how weird she seemed.

"Man, this is the life," he said as he walked down the halls, heading towards the library. And there he was...the one person he didn't expect to see.

"Um, Spike...what're you doing here?" Xander asked, almost afraid of Spike. Almost.

"Well, let's put it this way...I'm getting many fantasies fulfilled...this is one of them." He looked around. "I've always wondered what was so bad about the hell you call high school, so...I'm a student." Looking back at Xander, he continued.

"I'm also shadowing you. Faith is none too happy that you dissed her, mate. And she might just take it out on you yet. Rumors are one of the deadliest poisons, I understand."

Xander nodded. "I'll remember that. Where are you headed?"

Spike held up a piece of paper. "According to this damn thing, I have...lunch. But I can't eat anyone, so...I'm screwed."

"Enjoy the other joys of high school...I guarantee, you take one step in that cafeteria, girls will be falling all over themselves to talk to you. I noticed the looks a few of the girls who just walked by gave you."

Spike brightened a little. "Really?"

Xander nodded. "Go. Enjoy. I'll watch out for Faith." Spike started to walk away, but stopped.

"Harris?"

"Yeah?"

"She does anything...let me know. She's got a mighty bad surprise coming if she tries." And he turned and went in the direction of the cafeteria.

Xander strained his neck, and saw the girls who frequented the hallways checking him out. Xander shook his head and continued towards the library, amazed at the conversation he had just had.

***

Unbeknownst to the two of them, someone had heard every word, and drastically altered her plans. Getting Xander back was nothing...

Getting that vampire was gonna be fun. Faith just knew it.

***

Xander arrived home, not the shabby house he'd known all his life, but a nice place, in the better area of town. He was surprised at how...perfect his fantasy life was. He was dating Buffy, none of the mess with Cordelia had ever happened, his parents got along great, and he was popular.

"Mom?" he called out, and a strikingly pretty woman came out.

"Xander!" she exclaimed, hugging her son. "How was school?"

"Interesting." And he gave her a quick rundown of what had happened, omitting his meeting with Spike. And his mom listened, she really did.

It was that alone, more than anything else, that made this fantasy life so perfect.

***

Faith's life, however, hadn't changed much. She was still at the motel, still looked cheap, and still had a major attitude. She'd left the school and gone back to her "home," that run down motel on the bad side of town.

Running through her head, she realized she'd made no deal with the Mayor, Mr. Trick was still alive, and all Hellmouth had not broken loose. Twice.

She sighed and looked at the pad of paper in front of her, realizing none of those ideas would work. In this fantasy, Spike was still a vampire, but was able to go outside. He had the powers of a vamp but was instead stuck as a high school student.

She smirked at the thought, and laid back, imagining what she might have done if he'd been a student at her old high school. Maybe she would have stayed long enough to lay him, maybe not.

She tapped the pencil to her pad, and turned on the broken down TV set. Flipping through the channels, she realized her mind was drawing a blank, and it was almost sunset. The least she could do was go slaying for a bit...

...And maybe run into Spike when she was done.

***

The Bronze was jumping, as usual. The guest band for the next few days was, surprisingly, KoRn. And Xander was the center of attention, next to Jonathan Davis.

When the band finished it's first set, people started to mingle, and the largest group was around Xander. He was making funny comments, being a generally nice person to be around, and enjoying every minute of it.

Faith was on the fringe, and suddenly got shoved. "Hey, watch it!" she said angrily, looking at the person in front of her.

It was Buffy.

"Hey B! Gonna do some slaying tonight? Some random violence on some vamps?" she said happily.

Buffy gave her a weird look. "Who are you?"

"I'm Faith, the vampire Slayer. What, you don't know me?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I don't. There's only one Slayer per generation...I'm it."

It was Faith's turn to shake her head. "No, you died. So now there's two Slayers."

Buffy looked stunned. "I never died." And with that, she turned around and headed back to Xander. Faith looked after her, stunned. Turning around to leave, she slammed right into someone.

"Love, if you're not careful, you may hurt someone."

"Well, Spike, if it's you I'm hurting, I have no problems with that."

Spike shook his head. "In this fantasy, love, you're not a Slayer yet. Kendra hasn't even been called." He smiled a fake smile at her. "You're out of luck, I suppose."

Faith glared at him. "Like I couldn't take you in a fight."

Spike sighed. She'd have to learn the hard way. "Fine. Want to fight? Follow me." He headed out to the alley and waited for her to throw the first punch. It was a feeble attempt at a left hook, which he easily deflected.

Every punch she threw, he blocked. And he delivered a few staggering blows to her as well. Finally, he stopped, and she staggered back.

"What the hell?" she muttered, trying to catch her breath.

"As I said, you're not an active Slayer. Why don't you listen to me?"

"You're a vampire."

"And I'm in charge, right now. Mr. Roarke doesn't want to deal with you, and neither does any other employee. If you'd bloody well listen, you could have another crack at your fantasy."

She glared at him. "No thanks."

"You have till tomorrow evening. Meet me at...the mansion. Seven o'clock. Have an answer." He turned and headed back to the Bronze, muttering phrases like "stupid bitch" and "vapid whore" under his breath.

"I'll get you, you damn vamp," she said, holding her side and limping back to the motel. "Slayer or not, I'm gonna make sure you're dust."

***

Faith stood outside the mansion the next night, at seven, and waited for Spike to show up. She was on time, why wasn't he?

Muttering to herself, she left Crawford Street and headed towards the Bronze, seeing KoRn was headlining once again. Though the music coming out of the club was from the resident DJ, she knew they were probably going to go on soon.

And then, out the stage entrance, she spotted her idol, Jon Davis, walking up, a short, but beautiful girl by his side. "Julee, what do you want to do after this?" he asked, as Faith moved towards them.

"Spend time with you. And Head," she said, pulling her black hair out of her face.

Faith got right up in front of them. "Why have her when you can have me?" she said, in her sexiest, most alluring voice.

"Who the hell are you?" he said, shaking his head in disgust and helping Julee inside. Faith's jaw dropped open. What was it with the men here?

"You would have ruined Julee's fantasy had he taken you up on our offer, love. And didn't I say we were to meet at the mansion?"

The British accent grated her nerves, but she plastered a smile on her face before turning around. "Spike. I was there; you weren't."

"Fair enough. Care for a drink?"

"Alcoholic, yes." He nodded and paid for both their cover charge then ordered two cokes with rum. The person working the bar didn't ask for either of their ID's.

"Have you come to a decision?"

"Hmmm?" She asked.

"I said, have you come to a decision? On your fantasy?"

"Yeah. My fantasy is to relive that night with Xander...and tape it. If that's gonna be my best lay, I damn well want it documented."

Spike laughed, then ordered another round of drinks, handing them to Faith. "Then, as they say, your wish is my command."

"Oh, but I wasn't done. You're first."

Spike looked shocked at first, then smiled. "Me? Why me?"

"Because I don't want B to be the only Slayer to lay a vampire."

"Fair enough." He quietly thanked Roarke for spiking her drinks as they left the club.

***

Illusions are easily cast, and also easy to fool people with. When Faith woke up the next morning, she looked at the camcorder facing the bed. It was perfect! She could blackmail Xander and Spike into doing what she wanted.

And ruin their fantasies in one swoop.

But first, she had to get rid of this hangover.

***

"What do you mean, you don't care?"

Xander sighed. "Exactly that. I don't care if you play the video."

Faith gaped at him. "So, neither of you would care if the entire student body saw the both of you screwing me?"

Spike shrugged. "Not really, love."

Faith took a hard look at them both, then went to the TV in the center of the small stage in the cafeteria. "Attention!" she said loudly, and slowly, people turned her way.

"Thank you. I have this video, that shows two of the students here getting plastered and laid. Anyone want to see?"

"Which two?" someone in the back asked.

"Those two," she said, pointing to Spike and Xander, and the cafeteria erupted in shouts and whistles. She popped the video in and pressed play.

Instead of seeing Spike where he should have been, she saw...

"Jonathan?" she gasped. The nerd who she'd named stood up, getting the admiration of the males in the cafeteria.

She fast forwarded to her encounter with Xander, and lo and behold...

"Oh my God! She fucked Snyder!" someone close to the screen said. Half of the student body looked ill while the other half tried to push Faith out of the way so they could watch.

"No. This can't be happening. NOOOOOOO!!!" Faith said, backing up until she was at the cafeteria doors, watching as the students pointed and laughed.

"I'll get you!" she said as she ran out of the doors, leaving Sunnydale forever.

Spike and Xander sat down, looked at each other, and shook hands.

***

"So you're leaving now?"

"Hey, I stopped Faith from ruining this. Now, you can enjoy it, mate."

Xander watched as Spike walked down the hall. "Hey! What are you going to do now?"

Spike turned around. "I'm going to watch a concert."

Xander would have said more, but he heard a very familiar voice call his name. Looking around, he saw Buffy sticking her head out from the library. "Coming?"

Xander looked around, finally realizing his dream had come true. He walked over to Buffy, and bent down to kiss her. "Of course," he said when he pulled back, and went back to being the most popular guy in Sunnydale.

For a little while longer, anyway.

***

Mr. Roarke met Spike outside. "You know, you have very good ideas for revenge."

"I suppose I do. How far is her fantasy, Roarke?"

"It will last the entire trip."

Spike looked down a moment. "It's not really him, is it?"

"No, Spike. It's one of the people who works here, a shape-shifter. She may be crazy, but she could tell if it was an illusion."

"I suppose my Princess could." He looked up. "So, what's next?"

"How much do you know about guitars?"