TITLE: Heroic Guardian Angels
AUTHOR: Ragna (writinggoddess@aol.com)
RATING: FRT
CLASSIFICATION: Doyle/Buffy.
SUMMARY: Buffy goes to Heaven and meets up with Doyle, who's now a Guardian Angel.
SPOILERS: AU after Season 4 BtVS/Season1 A:tS. This takes place in what would have been Season 6 BtVS/Season 3 A:tS.
DISTRIBUTION: Any sites with my fic up; you all have unspoken permission. I write it, you can post it. Everyone else just keep my name on it and let me know.
DISCLAIMER: If you don't recognize it, chances are it's my own creation. If you do, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kazui Sandollar, FOX and the WB own it or them.
FEEDBACK: Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking in the spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back...in other words, I want it.
FICATHON ANSWERED: The Never-Met Ficathon. My assignment:

Writing For: lady_alianna
Characters: Buffy/Lindsey, paired or Buffy/Doyle
Three Requirements: Set in Venice, Established Relationship, Jewelry
What You Don't Want?: Pure PWP
Acceptable Range Of Ratings: PG-13 to NC-17

PROMPTS USED: Anger, Black & Buffy from aliasagent; Apprehension, White & Doyle from settiai.
AUTHORS NOTES: I started this fic years ago and wasn't able to get motivated to do this until I got involved in the Never-Met Ficathon. Glad I could finally finish it... I couldn't think of any real way Buffy and Doyle would have an established relationship, so I fudged a bit on that requirement, setting up the relationship myself. I also fudged on the Venice part; it comes in a lot, but it's not completely set there. Also, actual dialogue from the shows are used, and they're in italics.

***

It had been that one brief moment when she'd seen him that he knew she was special. Just that moment in Angel's office, before Cordelia pulled him away, babbling things about her. If he thought back hard enough, he could even remember her looking at him.

And now she was looking at him, but she wasn't happy about it.

"So I'm dead?" Buffy asked, looking at Doyle.

"As dead as me, lass," he replied, looking at the Slayer. It was a shame, that they were both dead. At least they were heroes. That was small comfort, but it was still a comfort. "I watch over Cordelia, now," he said. He smiled, briefly. Very briefly, Buffy noted.

"And me?"

"Wesley."

Buffy choked. "Him? Why him?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe because he means well, and deserves protection."

"Well, who was protecting me when I needed it?" Buffy asked, venom leaking into her voice.

"Merrick." Doyle gestured behind him. "He's back there, resting right now. Protecting you...that was a hard job."

Buffy looked past Doyle's shoulder. Heaven looked a lot like college, with dorms and grassy lawns. And then there was a small beach-like place, and she instantly recognized her first Watcher, relaxing by the water. It was strange, seeing the man who introduced her to her destiny.

"There are others here who you know, too," Doyle said, getting Buffy's attention. And when he said that, she started to see the familiar faces...Jenny, Larry, others she knew by sight and not by name...

"Why are we here? I mean, is this the part of Heaven reserved for Sunnydale residents?"

"Basically."

"Then why are you here?"

Doyle paused, looking the Slayer directly in the eyes. "Who's to say I didn't live in Sunnydale?"

***

It surprised Buffy to realize she had a room in Heaven. An actual room...the things she loved most were there...Mr. Gordo, pictures of her and her friends, momentos of a life she'd lived with such enthusiasm. The thing that surprised her most was the mirror. It was a long mirror, the type found on closets. But it was beautiful, silver with etchings of names.

Names of those she'd saved.

"Doyle?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah?" he replied from the doorway, where he'd stood watching her.

She looked up at him as he entered the room, a puzzled expression on his face. "I saved all these people?"

Doyle nodded, the expression fading into oblivion. "I have a similar mirror in my room. Those of us that are heroes all have one. But yours...yours is by far the largest."

She turned, looking back to the mirror. There was Willow. And Xander. And Giles. And Riley and Anya and Graham and Tara and Cordelia and Jonathan and Faith and...

"Angel."

It was only then that she burst into tears. Doyle held her gently as she sobbed on his shoulder, finally coming to terms with her death. He said nothing. He didn't tell her how he'd broken every breakable thing he could find, how he'd pleaded with the Oracles to make things right, how he finally accepted that this was how he would exist until the end of eternity.

She had to go through this her own way. But he wasn't about to let her go through it alone.

***

"So, what's it like up here?"

"Never boring, that's for sure."

Buffy looked at her first watcher, a smile on her face. "I'm pretty sure you had to work really hard, watching over me."

"Not really. You really can take care of yourself, you know."

"I couldn't save all those kids at graduation, I couldn't even save Spike...and he's dead. I mean, he was already dead." She sighed. "I couldn't save myself," she added quietly.

Merrick reached over, patting her hand. "You're a Slayer. You weren't even supposed to survive this long, Buffy. The fact that you did shows just how strong you really are."

Buffy smiled, reaching over to hug her Watcher. "Thank you."

"I take it you saw your mirror," Maerick said as he let her go. "Does it have as many names on it as I heard it did?"

Buffy looked at him, arching an eyebrow. "How many names did you hear it had on it?"

"Quite a few, my dear," Merrick said, smiling. "Come, let's take a look at this mirror, shall we?"

***

"Don't worry. Hell will freeze over before I have sex with him."

"Thank goodness for small favors. I'm going to try calling Angel again."

"Okay. I'm going to pack a bag."

"Cordelia, please, just a few things. We're not going on safari."

Doyle sat, looking in his mirror, re-watching that scene. It had been two years ago...he had been watching, but he couldn't stop Faith. He could stop her from killing Cordelia, his Princess, but that was all...

He should have tried to help Wesley, too.

"I've got a little problem. I don't feel Angel's in the game. But, somehow, I feel you guys are the key. Now what can I do to really make him hate me?"

"Faith."

"Shut up, Wesley."

"It's not too late."

"For cappuccino? 'Cause it just keeps me up."

"It's not too late to let me help you."

Doyle looked away. He had to; it hurt too much to watch any more. He walked over to the window of his room, looking out. Buffy and Merrick were walking towards the building, talking. Buffy looked just a bit more comfortable.

Not all of the people there were guardian angels. They roamed around, either watching the mortals from the viewing room, sitting by the lake hoping for serenity or just spending their afterlife with those they'd lost before they themselves died. A lot of the people here were so young. Most had died when they were in high school, victims of the vampires and demons and other things that went bump in the night. Doyle knew some of these people...

They'd been his students, when he was a teacher. Sunnydale Middle School was such a good school, with such amazing students. He felt blessed to have been accepted as a teacher there. And there were a few students he enjoyed...Alexander Harris could always make him laugh. Willow Rosenburg was so shy and quiet, but such a brilliant girl. And there was Jesse and Larry and Jonathan and all the others.

Larry remembered him. He was one of the few friends that Doyle had in Heaven, mostly because he was always on Earth helping Cordelia out of some scrape or another.

"Hey! Doyle!"

Larry's voice broke Doyle out of his thoughts. "Yeah?"

"New arrivals. One of 'em...you need to see for yourself."

***

"What's going on?" Buffy asked Merrick as she watched the people crowd towards the gates on the far side of the lawn.

"There are new arrivals. It's not often everyone gets this excited though. I mean, you were a very important person..."

The two veered away from the building and moved towards the gates, following the throng of people. It was almost like a group of people about to see a rock concert, with the exception of screaming groupies. She saw Spike's head in the crowd; Merrick had mentioned he'd come here when he had died, the first victim of the demons that eventually got Buffy. She hadn't spoken to him yet but planned on doing so soon.

"Wonder who's on this load?"

"I heard there's some of the Slayers' friends..."

Buffy perked up. She'd only been dead a few days or so. They couldn't have been killed so quickly. Or could they?

"Oh my," one person said as the first person stepped off the bus. Buffy recognized the voice as that of Jenny's. She was afraid to look, afraid to see who it was. A cheer went up, though, and only then did Buffy look up, just in time to see Jenny throw herself into Giles' arms. And right behind him was...

"Anya?"

"Didn't think I'd make it up here, that since I was a demon, I'd go to Hell? Think again," Anya said, looking around. "I thought Heaven was all about the pearly gates and harps and horns and stuff."

Buffy looked around. "What happened?"

Anya shrugged. "Giles' car died, and so did we. Got hit from the front."

"Was anyone else in the car?"

"No, just the two of us, on the way back from your funeral."

"My...funeral? What was it like?" Buffy asked, looking at her intently.

Anya looked at her. "It was...nice."

"Understatement of the year, lass," Doyle said, dragging Larry over to the group.

"Hey, it's the gay guy," Anya said, looking at Larry.

"Hey, it's the ultra feminist," Larry said in reply. "I thought you'd be going to Hell."

"I thought I was too," she said, shrugging.

"Apparently, you're under my tutelage, too, Anya," Doyle said, shaking his head.

"You're going to have fun," Larry said, shaking his head.

"You're going to help."

Larry stared at Doyle. "You've got to be kidding. I thought all I had to do was watch Jonathan!"

Doyle shook his head. "Sorry, lad. You get to help me help the two lasses here get their acts together."

Larry groaned as Doyle turned to Anya, Buffy and Merrick. "Want the grand tour?"

***

"It's strange, the first time you use the mirror." Doyle looked over Buffy's shoulder, glancing into her tall and ornate mirror. She wouldn't look in it. Not at all. "Buffy...this is going to hurt more if you don't look into it."

"How?"

"You need to see this. It's important."

She shook her head. "I can't see Angel. Not now. I'm not ready. Can't I see Riley first? Or Willow or Xander?"

Doyle sighed, looking away from the mirror to the top of her head. How could he tell her what Angel told him so long ago, about the day that never happened? She needed to know the truth if she was going to be near him. She was under the impression he didn't love her anymore...she had to know his sacrifice.

"What is it I'm going to see?"

Doyle glanced back at the mirror, to see the Slayer looking up at him. "Proof that Angel loves you."

She froze, every hair on her body standing on end. "He can't love me."

"He does. He made...you have to watch, or you won't understand."

She tore her eyes away from Doyle and focused them on the mirror. "Did he get hurt?"

"Not physically."

She sighed, a sadness old as time entering her eyes. "How do I see it?"

***

"We don't have a choice. It's done."

"How am I supposed to go on with my life knowing what we had? What we could have had?"

"You won't. No one will know but me."

"Everything we did."

"It never happened."

Doyle sensed it before it dropped on his hand, the solitary tear that fell from her eyes. It was one thing to have Angel tell him about it, but it was another to see it in all it's glory.

"It did. It did. I know it did! I felt your heart beat."

"Buffy..."

"No! Oh God. It's not enough time."

"Shh, please. Please. Please, please."

"No. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget."

She couldn't watch anymore, he realized as he felt more tears hit his hand. She'd been standing, her head resting on his hand, which was on her shoulder. And now he could tell her knees were buckling, that there was going to be a lot more to come.

"Sit down," he said quietly.

"No."

Doyle stood there, letting her cry silently as he stopped the image. His higher ups had said she'd needed to see that missing day before she could start working. She hadn't even had time to adjust to being dead, or the arrival of Giles and Anya.

"Is there anything better I can see?" Buffy asked quietly, her voice cracking.

"What do you want to see?"

"A time with Will," she said quietly. "And I wanna sit down."

Doyle nodded, letting go of her shoulder. She moved over to the bed as Doyle asked the mirror for a time Buffy shared with Willow.

"It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. Mm, I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it."

"You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?"

"It's like a drug!"

"Fine! Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps...for a while."

"All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time. Runaway."

"Will!"

"Harpy."

"Delinquent."

"Tramp."

"Bad seed."

"Witch."

"Freak."

Doyle sat next to Buffy, who was curled up on the bed, a small smile on her face. She shut her eyes, and Doyle gently kissed her forehead as the conversation between Buffy and Willow continued. And then he left.

It was only as he left the room that he realized all the times he watched Buffy on Merrick's mirror hadn't prepared him for the young lady in person, and the tangle of emotions he felt surprised even him. It was close to what he'd felt for his wife...it was becoming something like love.

And that thought scared Doyle senseless.

***

"So, how is she?"

Doyle looked up to see Giles coming down the hall. "Asleep. She...she had to see something today."

"Something to do with Angel, I take it."

"How did you know?"

Giles smiled slightly. "Larry has been complaining about having to help Anya with her mirror viewing today. When I asked why, he said something about Buffy having to watch a missing day. Perhaps, when she wakes up, I should try to comfort her?"

"That might not be a bad idea."

"You might want to get Larry, by the way. I think he wants to murder Anya by now."

Doyle nodded, smiling slightly. "I will."

Giles paused for a moment. "Do you have feelings for her?" He looked around, as though trying to phrase something in his head and not sure how to do so. "You treat her with an inordinate amount of respect and besides, Jenny said you watch her when you aren't watching Cordelia."

Doyle began to say something, then shook his head and turned, heading down the hall. Giles looked at Buffy's door, then quietly opened it and sat in a chair near her bed, waiting for her to wake up.

***

"No!" Anya glared at Larry. "You do it first."

Larry rolled his eyes. "I can't do it. It's not my mirror."

"Well, Doyle could use Buffy's mirror."

"Yeah, but Doyle had the higher ups permission."

"But I don't want to look. Who knows what Xander might be doing?"

"I think you're more worried about who he might be doing," Larry muttered.

"Would you two stop," Giles muttered.

Merrick nodded. "Aren't they frightful?"

"She's scared," Doyle said to Larry, leaning on the doorjamb. "It happens sometimes...just don't push it for now. She can work on helping you watch Jonathan."

"And how's she supposed to do that?"

"That's for you to figure out, Larry."

***

Buffy sat on her bed, staring into her mirror. She didn't want to view anything, just look at herself.

Doyle had said Angel had a good chance of coming up there when he finally died again. It wasn't unusual for vampires that helped others to go there. Showed they'd taken advantage of a chance to even things up, he'd said. But the knowledge that her first lover, the one the largest part of her heart belonged to, might be able to be with her for eternity didn't make her feel any better about being dead.

In fact, she wasn't sure if she really liked the idea at all.

It had been years. They had spoken, but not very much. Buffy had moved on, settling in with Riley and being happy and almost normal for the first time since high school started. But before she died, things had started to change again. Riley was growing distant, and while Buffy was worried about that, whatever she tried to do to help blew up in her face.

She started to believe she'd be happiest if she didn't have to deal with either of them for a while.

"Buffy?"

She turned around, seeing Jenny standing in the doorway. "You have the largest mirror around here, you know? Larger than any of the other Slayers."

"There are other Slayers here?"

Jenny nodded. "A few. Most of them get their well deserved rest when the person they're watching dies, but a few stay on, watching those that desperately need it." She smiled slightly. "You should meet some of them."

"Maybe I will...later."

Jenny sat there for a few more moments before standing up again. "Anything I can do?"

"Yeah..." She smiled a bit. "Get Spike for me?"

***

Doyle waited patiently in the hall, looking into the room, until Spike stood up and gently set Buffy's head on her pillow. He didn't seem surprised to see Doyle waiting for him. The two had been wary of each other at first, but now that they had a general understanding of each other, they got along okay.

"Does she know you like her?" Spike asked, cutting through the pleasantries.

"Does everyone have to keep asking that?"

Spike decided a change of topic was in order. "They're doing fine down there, all of them. I heard Anya was neglecting Xander...should I go tell her about what he's up to? They're all depressed down there...Red, Xander, Riley...the whole bloody lot of them. Nothing big, but they need to have an eye kept on them."

Doyle nodded again, idly wondering why he'd gotten stuck dealing with all Buffy's friends as his trainees. "Well, she and Larry are probably still arguing. She's in her room." An idea hit him. "Willow and Xander...they're spending a lot of time together, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Take Anya to your room, use your mirror to show her what's going on, and make sure Xander's in the picture. That way, she'll realize he really does need her help."

Spike smiled slightly. "Good idea, mate." He headed down the hall towards Anya's room.

Doyle turned around, intending to head to his own room, when he saw Merrick.

"Is she all right? I heard she had been crying again." Merrick looked worried, just as Jenny and Giles had earlier.

Doyle sighed. "She's been depressed longer than anyone else who's had to come here has. It's scaring me, and I'm not the type to get scared all that easily. And having to show her that lost day..." He thought for a moment. "Look...can you watch her for a bit? I think something might be wrong with Cordelia, and I'd rather see it for myself than through the mirror."

Merrick nodded. "Keep an eye on my new ward, too, will you?"

"Don't worry. I'll keep Cordy and Angel safe."

***

Doyle didn't travel to Los Angeles; he knew that, at the moment, neither Cordelia or Angel was there, only Wesley. Something had happened, something big enough to send the two to Venice.

He walked among the shops and glanced out at the canals, his eyes following Cordelia's every move. It didn't matter if a street ended and a canal came between him and the next street; he just kept walking. It was one of the perks of being an angel; gravity meant nothing.

He kept watching as Cordelia entered a building. He got an unnerving sense that something in that building was wrong, that something was out of place.

And then it hit him.

He hadn't seen Angel anywhere.

Something was seriously wrong...

***

Doyle sat with Merrick and Buffy a short time later. He was glad to hear that Buffy was willing and ready to keep watch over Wesley; even without training, she'd be able to do enough to hopefully keep the fort down in Los Angeles.

"I swear, I didn't see him anywhere. I was watching when they left, and they left together. Cordelia looked worried so I made it a point to check in a lot. Up until I actually went to Venice, nothing seemed wrong."

Merrick pondered what Doyle had just said. "Well, he hasn't been slayed yet. I would have know that. But, to tell the truth, I can't locate him. I've tried my mirror a few times earlier today, and there's no sign of him."

"Could he be...elsewhere?" Buffy asked.

"Like where?" Merrick asked.

"In another dimension. Or...Hell. Or with the Powers That Be?"

Doyle shook his head. "He'd still be able to be seen. We wouldn't be able to interfere, but he'd be visible to us."

Buffy sat quietly. They were used to the now quiet and solemn Buffy, but if there was ever a time when the take-charge Buffy was needed, this was it.

And as if by simply thinking it, Buffy's head snapped up and she grinned a calculating grin. "A spell. There's got to be someone who knows what we can do and how we do it and there's a spell blocking us."

"She may have something there," Merrick pointed out. "You know what happened before she got here, Doyle."

"What happened?" Buffy asked.

Doyle thought about how best to explain what he was about to say. "Sometimes, guardian angels get sent here who really shouldn't be here. They either don't want the job or they can't handle the job. Those that don't want the job simply go to another part of Heaven. Those that can't handle the job..."

"What happens to those people, Doyle?" Buffy asked, a glimmer of steely strength in her voice.

"Some of them go through a period of intense emotion and then come out of it okay. Others...don't. They do something so wrong that they get cast out."

"To Hell?"

Doyle shook his head. "They're angry, black shadows that go around and terrorize people. You've met some of them."

Realization dawned on Buffy. "They become demons? The same kind that killed me?"

Doyle nodded. "Yes, Buffy. They become shadow demons."

***

Buffy hadn't thought about her death since she arrived. It had almost been expected; no one could see the demons who were attacking people, just black shadows. It was impossible to fight a shadow, as Buffy had found out on her first attempt to thwart whatever they were doing.

There had been no information on them, nothing to show that they could even be stopped. And yet Buffy tried her best to fight them. She tried everything she could think of to make the dark go away.

And instead, the dark made her go away.

It was time to make sure they paid for what they did.

***

"Doyle? How do we get the people we watch to do what's best for them?"

Doyle looked away from his mirror, where he'd been watching Cordelia in Venice. There was no point in being there until they all knew what was going on. "Well, there's a few ways. You can enter their dreams, or you can momentarily inhabit someone else's body to deliver a message."

"Watcher or not, I think Wes might freak out if someone told him I was talking through them. How do I enter his dreams?"

Doyle looked at his mirror to make sure Cordelia was still asleep. "Come here and I'll show you."

Buffy walked to his mirror and stood next to him. "She doesn't look that good," she remarked. "Like, she's not getting enough sleep."

"She's not. The only reason she's asleep now is pure exhaustion." He took Buffy's hand, softly holding it in his. He was aware of the jolt that passed through him, the tingle that almost made him feel alive again. He vaguely wondered if she'd felt it, too, but there were more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.

He reached over and touched his mirror. Instead of solid glass like there usually was, the glass rippled away from the invasion of his hand. He moved closer to the mirror and took a step through, pulling Buffy inside with him.

Instead of the sparse room they'd seen when viewing Cordelia, they were now at a park. Buffy looked around and started to let go of Doyle's hand, but Doyle gripped it tighter.

"Don't let go, lass. You won't be able to stay or leave if you do. You'll go into limbo."

Buffy nodded and looked around, finally spotting Cordelia by the water's edge.

"Do all the dreams look like this?"

Doyle shook his head. "It's individual to each person." He walked towards Cordelia and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and smiled, but there was a distinct look of surprise in her eyes.

"Buffy," she said quietly. "I didn't realize..."

Buffy shrugged. "Hey, death isn't so bad."

"Doyle's been telling me that." She stood up and gave them each a hug.

"Most people believe it's just a dream. Whatever I did to Cordelia when I..." Doyle stopped.

"Kissed me and gave me those horrible headaches that come with the visions?" she said archly.

"Yeah, that." Doyle coughed a little. "Whatever happened then allowed her to see the reality of what's happening."

"In other words, I know it's not a dream. I know he's really visiting me." Cordelia shrugged gracefully. "But he only comes when something important is happening."

"We can't see Angel anywhere, on any of our mirrors," he said.

"And I need to get a message to Wesley," Buffy said, thinking quickly. "I think he needs to come to Venice, too."

"And leave Gunn alone in Los Angeles?" Cordelia said. "He's not going to take that very well..."

"Gunn?" Buffy asked.

"Another person who works for Angel." Cordelia thought for a moment. "Anything I can tell him to convince him it's dire?"

"We think it's a spell that's keeping us from seeing Angel," Buffy said.

Cordelia nodded. "He likes to show off that amazing amount of knowledge he has," she said with a wry smile. "That should get him to Venice."

Buffy grinned. Cordelia really hadn't changed that much in some fundamental ways, but in others... "Thanks."

"Not a problem." Cordelia blinked a few times. "I think it's about time for me to wake up."

"We'll be going then," Doyle said. He turned and pulled Buffy away.

"Doyle!" Cordelia shouted at him.

"What?" he said, not turning around, though Buffy could see he was grinning.

"No more dives into bright light, okay?"

Doyle laughed softly. "Okay, princess."

When both Doyle and Buffy were back across the mirror, Buffy let go of his hand. "What was that last bit about?"

"An inside joke."

Buffy looked at him, one eyebrow cocked up, and shrugged. "You're a weird man."

"I get weirder the more you get to know me."