Heart and Soul

* * * * * Chapter 24: Climax * * * * *



I feel Spike stir slightly under me. Reluctantly, I shift off him and roll onto the bed, wondering what time it could be. We lost track of time in the midst of getting reacquainted, but it’s clearly been a few hours since we both fell asleep. The sun set long ago and I see moonlight trying to shine through my curtains. The same curtains that were pulled tight to protect against the sunlight a few hours ago. I smile a bit as I hear Spike mumbling. He’s not quite awake yet and I hear him murmuring my name. I press my lips to his ever so lightly and he smiles in his sleep, curling back up and going slack again. He is really so tired, I can tell.

I slip from the bed, desperate not to wake him just yet. I go to the window, pulling the curtains open a bit, letting the moonlight pour in, gently filling the room with a blue glow. Turning back to the bed, I study my lover, correction, my love. Big difference, that. I can barely keep myself from running back to touch him, kiss him, make him mine all over again. The sheet covers him from the waist down, rumpled around his naked body. The silvery light catches every sharp edge of him, casting shadows across his abs, his chest, his sculptural arms. He looks more like marble in this light than any other. His head moves a bit and his face comes into the light. I have to hold back a gasp at the beauty that is Spike. His hair is silver-white, his features detailed in shades of blue and gray and black. And better still, I know what courses through that still body. A love held in an undead heart, warmer than most humans know. A soul, young and fresh, filling him from the inside out with newness, rebirth. Kindness, wit, sensuality...god, I love him. Somehow, in my wacky life, it seems appropriate that our "relationship" began with him trying to kill me and vice versa. And yet here we are. I trust him, I love him. I never would have believed it. I smile wryly. How things do change.

I turn back to the window, gazing into the darkness, feeling the slight chill through the window on my bare skin. I know that when the sun comes up in several hours, things will begin to change even more. The "real" world, the world that revolves outside the orbit of Spike and I, will begin to intrude again. Questions will be asked and I will be forced to explain how I could love him. How could I not? At this point, it’s like asking me not to breathe to not love him. I’m drunk on it, living on it, breathing it in gulps. I lean forward, pressing my forehead against the cool glass, willing the world to stay away a bit longer.

With a quiet born of a hundred years of night, his arms slide around my waist and pull me to him. I never even heard him move. I relax into his body, my head moving back to rest against his shoulder. He kisses my cheek lightly. "You okay, luv?" His velvet voice sends shivers down my spine.

I turn inside his arms, finding his dark eyes with my own. "Never better." He sees something in my eyes that makes him hesitate.

"What is it, Buffy?"

I finally break eye contact, sighing deeply. I gesture weakly at the window. "The world, Spike. The world is coming in a few hours."

His eyebrows knit together as he studies me. "Help me out, pet..."

I smile wanly. "When the sun comes up, Spike. I’m scared things will change. The world may not be ready for us...for us as US, y’know?"

"Can I tell you something, Buffy?" I nod. He brings one hand up, pushing hair out of my eyes and gently tucking it behind my ear. Reaching around me, Spike yanks the curtains closed again. "The world can bloody well kiss my ass." He grins at me and I can’t help it, I laugh. And laugh. It feels so good to laugh, I let go a bit and enjoy it. I flash a big smile at him when I recover.

"So, we’ll face it together, right? Tell ‘em to kiss our collective asses?" I smirk at him.

"That’s the plan. Think it’ll work?" His eyes dance as he wraps his arms around my back, tickling my bare skin.

I reach up to his face, fingers splayed on his cheek, thumb brushing across his lips. I stretch up to kiss him, and breathe out my answer, "Yes. More yes than ever before." I look down briefly, then back up at him. "I believe you and I...you and I can do anything, Spike. I know that sounds totally cheesy, but I think it may be true." I dart my eyes down, feeling suddenly shy in front of him.

He lifts my chin with one finger, his eyes deadly serious. His voice sounds almost choked as he whispers, "Buffy, it is true. You and me, luv. Do you believe it?"

I don’t trust my voice, so I nod. I cannot believe how the emotions threaten to swallow me whole when I’m with him. To think I wanted to kill him, that I didn’t believe in him for so long. And yet, he put everything on the line just for me. Changed his very nature for me. I shake my head in disbelief.

He looks at me curiously, "Is it yes or no, luv?"

"OH! It’s yes, Spike. Sorry, I was just thinking...I still can’t believe all you did. The trials, the soul...it just boggles the mind. No one’s ever loved me like that."

"Well, it just goes to show that those other men were complete wankers. ‘Cause now someone does." His small smile makes my heart flip flop. I shiver a little bit and realize how chill it is in the room when you don’t have any clothes on. Spike runs his hands up and down my arms. "Pet, you’re freezing! Let’s get back in bed."

"Oh, sure, I bet you say that to all the girls." His wolfish grin makes me giggle as I let him pull me back toward the bed. I reach out and pinch him on the butt and he actually jumps. Spike’s blue eyes squint back at me.

"Why, Buffy, you little vixen!"

I widen my eyes as innocently as I can manage in the circumstances. "Who, me?"

"I don’t see anyone else in here with her hands on my bum."

"To be honest, it was just one hand, but I can fix that." I reach around him with both hands and squeeze the body part in question. With lightning quick reflexes, Spike grabs me up and tosses me unceremoniously on the bed. I bounce once and then lie there, watching him. His eyes have gone dark and he spends just a few more seconds looking down at me, tangled in the bedsheets, cheeks flushed. I see the muscle in his jaw twitch as he maintains control of his desires a bit longer. I tempt him terribly by squirming a bit.

Finally, he crawls into the bed, taking both my hands in his. He holds our hands by my waist as he kisses my inner thigh. The wetness of his tongue makes me twitch. He uses his body to urge my legs further apart and I feel his mouth move closer to my slit. His tongue darts in, cool heaven, and I moan low in my throat. Repeated over and over, the movements of his tongue drive me toward the edge, but he doesn’t let me go. Every time he pulls back, I want to scream. As the pattern continues, I begin to whimper. I bite my lip as he looks up to me, my eyes pleading with his for release. He moves up slightly, pressing his lips into the soft skin just below my navel. Up he comes, closer to my face, his body slowly covering mine as he keeps both my hands in his, pulling them slowly above my head. Stretched out underneath him, I feel every bit of my skin taut and waiting. I don’t have to wait very long. He shifts between my legs, I feel his firm cock nudging at my entrance. He knows that I am fully ready for him, but still he lifts an eyebrow at me. Our hands locked together, this is the only other contact between us. I can’t take anymore. I lift my eyebrows at him in return and wrap my legs around his back, urging him in. The muscles in his back tighten as he fights my Slayer strength. Oh, so it’s like that. "Slow and easy, eh?" He nods, still silent. "Talk to me. I want to hear your voice."

He swallows and I see the muscles in his throat, tight and visible. A small shiver runs through his body. "I want you so badly right now, Buffy, I’m afraid to talk. I‘ll lose control."

"Then lose it, hon. Never hold back. I can take it. I want it. I‘m the Slayer." I wink at him and I see some of the tension fade. My voice drops to a husky whisper. "Now, Spike. Come to me."

It’s all the encouragement he needs. He slides all the way in slowly, but steadily, not stopping until he can go no further. I strain against his hands, absorbing the sensation. Our fingers, laced together, tighten their grip. We lock eyes, silent messages telegraphed from their depths. I feel us building it, building the connection, brick by brick, that will keep the world from tearing us apart. Reinforcing the layers of pain, of time and trust, of love and finally, of belonging. I’ve been adrift for so long now, not so much anchored to this world, as much as stuck here. The love and well-wishes of my sister and friends not penetrating the fog. He was the only one. Not a friend, not a relative. Just Spike. Slowly, I started to see why I came to him. He was honest, he touched me somewhere unreachable by everyone else. He didn’t force me to be cheerful, to pretend everything was okay. Most of the time, he was happy to just be with me and I with him. Little did I know that all the things that happened between us - the violence, the years of fighting - would eventually dissolve into this burning love. I was just slower to reach it than he was. And god, he did love me. Loves me still. Clutches my hands and penetrates my eyes and body with that love. I wonder how much of what I am thinking he can see in my eyes. What I see in his lets me think that he understands quite enough.

He moves slightly, gently pulling almost out of me and back in again. He sets a rhythm and I join him in it. Slow and purposeful, weaving a spell of silence around us. The only sound the gentle rustle of the sheets, the slide of skin on skin, my long breaths. My breaths grow shorter and shorter as the rhythm brings us closer and closer to climax. Our grip on each other’s hands remains strong. Holding to each other like two drowning souls, refusing to go under. Willing ourselves to go on, together. When the height finally reaches us, tears well to my eyes and I let them roll freely down my cheeks. He thrusts once more, sealing the moment. I cry out, one clear call pulled from my own depths. His deep moan matches it in intensity and ferocity. Our hands come down from above our heads and release. I wrap my arms around him and his go around me tightly, pulling me against him on his side. I blend into his body, letting him borrow my warmth as I drift to sleep, the world forgotten.

* * * * *

I wake still in his arms, warmth filling the room from the early sunlight that makes the curtains glow. My eyes quickly look him over, making sure no sunlight reaches him. Welcome to your new life, Buffy. Make sure your love doesn’t catch on fire in the morning. I can’t help but smile a little bit at the strangeness of it. The smile fades as I realize it is really morning and I am really in love with a vampire. Am I crazy? Do I even care if I am? I turn a bit in his grasp, to see his face. At rest, Spike is an angel. Not the sappy, cutesy kind, but an archangel, a warrior. Blond hair, full mouth, lashes resting against his carved cheeks, a face full of strength, violence, devotion, love. Without permission, my finger reaches out, gently tracing his cheekbone, sliding down to rest on his bottom lip. The lashes flutter a bit as he feels my warmth on his face. He is still asleep, relaxed in my presence, but his mouth twitches up slightly. Mine. He is mine and I am his, heart and bloody soul. I can’t help but grin. Even my thoughts are touched with Spike-isms.

With all the stealth I can muster, I begin to slip from his arms. The smile fades as my warmth moves away. I lean back and press my lips to that mouth, feeling the gentle curve, the soft flesh. He relaxes and lets me go. I spot a folded piece of paper just under the door. Looking back to make sure Spike is still asleep., I reach down to pick it up. Flipping it open, I recognize Willow’s strong letters.

"Buffy,

I’ll be in my room if you need anything. I came to check on Spike last night, but the door was closed...and well, it sounded like things were just fine."

I stop and stifle a giggle. I can just picture the blood rushing to Willow’s face as she realized that we were "just fine" and being quite loud about it, as I recall. She’s drawn a little smiley face next to her last remark. Good old Willow.

"Seriously, I’m glad he’s back in the land of the living. Well, you know what I mean. See you in the morning.

Will"

I fold the note back up and lay it on my dresser. Looks like we may have yet another ally in this battle for acceptance after all. Of course, Dawn is on board with great enthusiasm. Anya is fine either way. Giles, well, Giles is trying to treat me like an adult, so hopefully he has had enough time to absorb my love for Spike before he has to actually witness us together. Xander. I’m not holding my breath on that one. Then again, when has he ever liked any guy I’m with? I smile despite himself. Hm. I think things are going to be just fine, after all. Or at least, just fine in Sunnydale terms. That whole sunlight issue...well, we’ll deal with it. I don’t know why I worried so about the world. The world better watch out for me and Spike, actually. ’Cause here we come, ready or not.

Chuckling to myself, I look up at my reflection in the mirror above the dresser and am appalled at the state of my hair. I touch it, attempting to make it lie down. A deep voice makes me jump.

"Looks great, luv. Come back to bed?" The bed appears rumpled but empty in the mirror. Of course. Vampire. I turn and there he is, leaning on one elbow and smirking at me. Guess I should know better than to think I could be quiet enough not to wake him. I take a few slow steps towards him as his eyes dance down my body in silent approval. Pulling up the covers, I slide back in, letting him gather me in and press his lips to my forehead. "Love you, Slayer," he murmurs into my hair.

"Love you too, Spike." My mouth finds his and my arms wrap around him as we fall into each other once again.



The world will just have to wait a few more hours for our debut.





~The End~