Your Love

Chapter Nineteen

Angel couldn’t find Faith. ‘Graveyard’ in Sunnydale didn’t exactly narrow the field a great deal. He’d searched eight of the twelve before Buffy caught up with him. “Angel!” she screamed, running towards him, her face tortured, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“What? Buffy what’s wrong?” Angel asked urgently, catching her as she collapsed forward onto him.

“He’s gone,” she choked out desperately. “He gave me this and then he left.” That was all she able to say before she dissolved into shaky tears once more. Buffy had gone immediately to Spike’s crypt following his departure from the mansion. Beth however had told the young Slayer that Spike had been to see her earlier and had said he was leaving town as soon as he had given Buffy something.

Angel held her tightly, wanting to know what ‘this’ was, and why Spike thought it necessary to leave. “Buffy,” he asked softly. “Did you tell him you love him?”

She shook her head, unable to form any words. Her crying became even more intense and Angel decided to leave it for the moment. She needed her friends. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her quickly to Giles’ apartment. He kicked the door open, unable to knock and unwilling to let go.

The inhabitants of the small room jumped violently as the door crashed open. When Giles saw Angel carrying a shattered Buffy he strode quickly to him and took the younger girl in his arms. She went willingly, clinging to him as he tried to soothe her. “What happened?” he asked Angel over Buffy’s head.

The vampire shook his head slightly to indicate that he didn’t really know. “She said something about Spike leaving. They were at the mansion, I went to look for Faith and then Buffy came running up. She said he gave her something and then left.”

Giles glanced down at the paper clenched tightly in Buffy’s hand and reached down to take it from her. Willow approached to comfort her best friend as Giles carefully unfolded the paper and read.

“Good Lord!” he exclaimed as he read the ancient spell. “It’s a restoration spell. Rather old, probably one of the first ever produced.” He read the whole spell completely and then re-read it to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming. “It’s permanent,” he said simply when he’d finished.

“What?” Angel grabbed the piece of paper from Giles and quickly skimmed through the text. “A permanent soul,” he whispered, finishing the spell and laying it carefully on the table.

“You and Buffy could be together,” Xander exclaimed, not really knowing the reason for drawing attention to the fact. Anya frowned at her boyfriend, “Xander. I think they realise. Why else is she crying?”

“But it’s a good thing right?” he said confused, before remembering Buffy’s disclosures of the previous night. “Oh.”

Willow hugged Buffy tightly. She could imagine the pain her friend must be in. When Oz had left the year before she had felt as though her world had been torn apart. “Buffy? Do you want to sit down?” Buffy didn’t answer, but she allowed herself to be led to the couch. The Scooby gang all looked at the Slayer, then at each other. They didn’t know what to do to make things right.

Eventually Buffy calmed and looked around at her friends. As she saw their worried faces she decided it would be easier to deal with one thing at a time. She stared up at Angel and his eyes locked with hers, searching, questioning. Finally she nodded. “Do the spell.”

****

Faith sat on the edge of the loading docks, wondering what would happen if she jumped in. Angel would have the spell by now. He may even have his soul for all she knew. He and Buffy could be happy, and she was going to spend the rest of her death miserable. ‘Is this my punishment? More effective than hell, I suppose.’

She sat, lost in her thoughts and didn’t hear the small blonde Slayer approach. “Mind if I sit here?” Buffy asked, not waiting for an answer and sitting down next to the younger girl. Faith swallowed. She didn’t know what to say. She’d known that sooner or later she’d have to face Buffy, but she had been praying for later. Way later. “B… uh, where’s Angel?”

“Nice and casual Faith,” Buffy said, smiling at her friend, “You want to tell me why you found that curse?”

“Spike asked me to find it. He wanted you to be happy,” Faith said factually, not wanting to get into the details of why she had done what she had.

“But you love Angel,” Buffy said matter-of-factly, gazing out over the ocean. “Didn’t you want to try and keep him for yourself?”

Faith turned sharply to face the Slayer. “No! Look B, yeah, ok, I care about Angel, but I know how much the two of you want to be together so I thought…”

“We don’t,” Buffy interrupted and Faith’s jaw dropped. Buffy smiled widely. “I’ll always love him in some way, but things change; people change. I love Spike and Angel, well, you’ll have to ask him, but… Now he has a soul… a permanent soul, you two could be together, and be happy.”

Faith couldn’t form any words. She was in shock. Did Buffy just say..? “What?”

“What do I have to do to release you Faith?” Buffy asked, ignoring her friend’s shocked question.

“Release me? I didn’t tell you…”

“You said you were bound to two people and the only way I could get rid of you would be to release you. Doesn’t take a genius. I release you, you go to Angel, or something like that, right?” Faith nodded. “Right, so I release you.”

At the words Faith slowly faded from Buffy’s view and the Slayer was left alone on the edge of the docks.

****

Angel found Spike easily enough. He knew his Childe well and Spike hadn’t had enough time to go very far. He was lying on his and Drusilla’s old bed at the factory, clutching Miss Edith to his chest. Angel moved quietly down the stairs and over to the bed, pushing back all the memories he had of this place. None of them were happy ones.

“What do you want?” Spike asked without opening his eyes. He had known that his Sire would catch up with him eventually; knew that it would be better just to face Angel this one last time instead of continuing to run.

“I want to know why?” Angel said in a low voice. He had been shocked that Spike had done so much to help Buffy and him be together, especially as he was himself in love with the Slayer.

“Why not?” Spike turned over on his side away from Angel, who growled warningly before pulling the blonde vampire up to face him.

“This isn’t a joke Spike!”  

"You think I don’t know that?!” Spike roared, forcefully pushing Angel away and jumping up from the bed. He started to pace the small room. “You here to gloat? You’ve got the girl and the soul and now you can live happily ever after, while Spike’s left all alone?”

“I’m not here to gloat,” Angel inserted gently. “I wanted to say thank you.”

“Well you’ve said it. Now, sod off.”

“Spike, just this once, could you not be a bastard?”

Spike opened his mouth to retort but stopped when he saw how serious Angel was. He sighed. “I wanted her to be happy ok? And maybe you don’t believe that an evil, soulless demon like myself could do something so unselfish, but, hey… I’ve always been different. I like to keep people guessing, you know.”

“I know,” Angel said with a slight smile. “But, er, didn’t you want to fight for her.”

Spike laughed deprecatingly and sat wearily down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve thought of nothing but. For the last few months I’ve been searching for the right way to show her… I mean I’ve dreamed about her choosing me you know. Over Riley. Over you… And let me tell you, dreams don’t get any better than that one.”

Angel laughed at sat down next to Spike. “What happened to us? We used to be such good friends. I never thought…”

“I’d betray you. Well first you joined the other team, which kind of put us into enemy territory. Then you came back to the dark side, and stole my woman. What did you expect me to do? Bake you a cake?”

“I’m sorry.”

“And that’s another thing I hate about you. Stop being so damn forgiving. You may want redemption for past sins, but I don’t think it covers hurts you inflict on your own kind.”

“I’m not apologising for redemption, idiot. I’m apologising ‘cause I’m sorry. You know, if you and Buffy are going to be together, you’re going to have to learn how to accept an apology. And probably how to give one.”

“I know how to apologise. Just ‘cause I don’t do it, doesn’t mean I… ‘S’cuse me?”

“I’m going back to L.A. With Faith if I can find her. Buffy and I aren’t meant to be. You should go see her.”

“Angel… Why are you doing this?” Spike couldn’t really believe his Sire was giving up the Slayer. Giving her up, to him! He must be dreaming again.

“I’m noble? Look, she’s happy when she’s with you and I want her to be happy. So go see her. Before she meets another dork whose arms and legs I want to rip off and shove up his…” Angel stopped and took an unneeded breath.

Spike chuckled. “You too, eh? And you’re alright with it? Me and her?”

“Yeah. Look Spike, since you’re gonna be a white hat from now on, do you think maybe we could start over? You know, learn to trust each other again. I’d like it if we could be friends.”

The younger vampire nodded. “I’d like that.”

****

Angel dropped Spike off at the entrance to the graveyard where he lived and drove back to the mansion. He should really go and ask Buffy if she’d found Faith, but he was sure Spike would be on his way to see her after he’d changed clothes and Angel didn’t want to spoil the surprise. He grinned when he thought of what they were all doing. He’d just given up the love of his life to an evil vampire who hated him and was about to tell a woman who’d tried to kill him a few times, how he really felt about her. He’d blame the hellmouth if he didn’t live in LA.

As he entered the main hall he saw the slight figure of a woman standing by the fireplace. “Faith?”

She’d turned at the sound of her name and dropped her gaze to the floor when she saw who it was. “Angel… I er… Buffy said…” She stopped and looked up at him, frowning. She twisted her hands together in front of her and started to pace a little from side to side in front of him. “Buffy, she, uh, she released me. So I guess that means I’m bound to you.” She started talking quickly, not looking at him; trying to explain the situation without saying anything that might give her away, just in case… “I’m supposed to be a ghost, not a Guardian, I guess you already have one of those, but I can still touch things, I mean I’m solid. Do you think they’ll give me a handbook ‘cause I’m gonna need one. I always thought ghosts could walk through walls and things, well I haven’t tried but…”

She got no father as Angel walked quickly across the room to her and pulled her up close to him. Her face held a look of disbelief as he crushed his lips to hers. She stood still for a second before realising what was happening and wrapping her arms around him. He picked her up carefully and walked to the couch, never taking his lips from hers. He sat and positioned her on his lap, one hand moving to cup her head, the other gently caressing her side.

As neither needed to breathe, the kiss continued for several minutes, before Angel remembered he had something to say to her. He pulled away gently and she moaned as his lips left hers, trying to pull his head back down to her. He held her hands in a gentle but firm grip and stared into her eyes. She looked shyly back, wishing that she didn’t get so confused around him.

“I love you Faith.”

Faith couldn’t believe it. She’d wanted to hear those words for so long; had dreamt about Angel telling her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. He was what had kept her together while she had been in prison. And now he really was saying it. She should say something. ‘Tell him!’

“I love you, Angel.”

Chapter Twenty

The first thing Spike noticed when he entered the crypt were the candles. The room had never looked so bright. It was beautiful. And confusing. Spike frowned. No one should be here. Beth had gone to stay with Wesley in a hotel for the night, before they left with Angel for LA in the morning. Or so she had told him earlier. Was he interrupting something? “Beth?” he called softly, descending the steps slowly, ready to turn and leave if he found his sister and her Watcher enjoying a special evening.

When he reached the floor the music started. Soft romantic music, which flowed around the room, filling it with loving warmth. He took two more steps before the smell hit him. Vanilla mixed with power and energy. The Slayer. “Buffy?” he croaked. This couldn’t be real. She couldn’t be here, doing this, for him.

She stepped out from behind the pillar and Spike felt his chest restrict. If there had been any chance of his breathing before, it would be impossible now. She looked exquisite, stunning, enchanting. She wore a long, light pink, silk gown, which moulded her figure, emphasizing her tiny waist and beautiful full breasts. Her hair was curled and hung freely around her face and shoulders, making her look incredibly fragile and innocent. She smiled shyly at him, her green-grey eyes, blazing with hope and something else Spike couldn’t quite make out.

“Buffy,” he said again, more forcefully this time. His eyes raked over her face and body, drinking in every inch. “God I love you so much.”

The Slayer’s shy smile grew to fill her entire face as the words were wrenched from his lips without his bidding. For a moment he looked scared as he realised what he had said, but then he couldn’t think anymore as Buffy hurled herself into his arms, pulling his head down to meet hers and kissing him passionately.

The kisses of his dreams seemed inconsequential compared to the reality of kissing the Slayer. She fit so perfectly in his arms, moving instinctually with his lips and hands. He ravished her mouth with a desperate need that had been eating away at him for months, and she returned everything in full, allowing him access to her mouth, tilting her head so that he could kiss her neck. ‘She trusts me,’ he thought and a happiness which he had never felt before suffused his body.

He pulled gently away and Buffy gave a small squeak of displeasure. Spike grinned, a purely male grin of masculine pride, and stepped slightly back. Buffy pouted and tried to move closer but he held her at arms length. “Slayer, we have things to talk about. Things I definitely want to say before we go any further, but if we carry on like this, I’m going to forget everything except shagging you into the damn floor. Understand?”

It was Buffy’s turn to smile. She knew there were things that needed to be said, on both sides, but her ego was swelled with the knowledge that she had that much power over this soulless vampire. “Ok,” she said stepping back to put a little more distance between them, “Lets talk.”

Spike sighed and closed his eyes to collect his thoughts. When he opened them again Buffy had moved and was sitting on top of the stone coffin on which he slept. He moved closer and sat down beside her. “Why didn’t you stay with Angel?”

Buffy continued to look at the floor, knowing it would be best to get this over and done with. “I don’t love Angel that way anymore. He’ll always be a part of me, but we’ve moved on.”

Spike nodded slightly. “And now you… I mean you…”

Buffy looked up sharply and smiled, taking comfort in his confusion this time. “I love you.”

Spike swallowed. Had she just said that? He blinked and decided to make doubly sure. “What?”

“I love you. Me, Buffy, I, love, you, William the Bloody.” She smiled again and he had to restrain himself from grabbing her again. “Anything else? Or can we get back to the smoochies?” she said leaning closer.

He jumped down and moved across the room. “Buffy how can you love me? I’m a vampire. And there’s no soul  in here like with Angel,” he said, moving a hand up to cover his heart.

“There’s a chip…” she began but he quickly interrupted. He needed to point out all the things that made this wrong and stupid and dangerous. Then if she still wanted him, he’d know that she truly loved him.

“It doesn’t make me a good person. If it wasn’t there I’d still be trying to kill you.”

“If it came out tomorrow would you want to kill me?”

“God no! I could never do that Buffy, I love you.”

She smiled at his use of her name. She knew what he was trying to do. It wouldn’t make any difference.

“Spike, I’m going to talk now, and you’re going to listen. And when I’m done, you’re gonna get over here and make love to me, or I’m going to kick your ass from one side of this town to the other. Ok?” Spike nodded and she continued.

“You don’t have a soul, but you have feelings and emotions. Maybe you’re not supposed to, but they’re there. And I know that even if you don’t have a soul to tell you not to do things because they’re wrong, you have love and kindness and gentleness and strength, which will help you not to do things that are wrong, in order not to hurt those you love. I saw your love for Drusilla. And it made me so angry at the time, that a soulless demon would go to the length of asking his mortal enemy for help, just so he could be with the woman he loved. Angelus could never love; I don’t believe there are many vampires in the world that could. But you’ve always been different Spike.

“Now it won’t be easy. We’ll fight and bitch, and you’ll have to put up with my sulky moods and childish behaviour. And I’ll have to put up with yours. But I don’t expect to be treated any different by you, and that’s what I need. Someone to stand up to me, but love me all the same. And I need you. I have from the first second we met outside the Bronze. Everything you’ve ever said to me has been the truth, and I’m ready to face it all now. We have something special, and I want it to work. I want us to try. Because life, my life, is too short to worry about whether this is wrong or stupid or dangerous. I need you, and I love you.”

By the time she finished there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Spike was beside her in an instant and held her face gently in his hands. He kissed away her tears, and she started to laugh shakily as he smoothed her hair away from her face. “Shh. Don’t cry love. Buffy. I love you.”

He laid her tenderly back on the stone slab, pulling off his duster before lying down carefully next to her. He looked down into her face and asked a question she had asked him once in his dreams. “Happy?” Her smile lit the room in a way the candles never could and she whispered, “Ecstatic.” 

“Are you sure you want to do this here? I wanted everything to be perfect,” he told her, nervously.

“It is perfect,” she reassured him, drawing him down to her, and joining their mouths in a tender kiss.

****

It was and hour before dawn and the twelve friends stood outside the mansion. Wesley had managed to rent a van, which would ensure that Angel and Beth could travel to LA, without perishing in the sun, and he had promised to return sometime in the next week to pick up Angel’s car.

Beth and Spike stood a little apart from the others. His sister seemed happier than Spike had seen her in a long time and he was glad. “So everything’s ok?” he asked, still needing reassurance that his baby sister was alright. She smiled up into his anxious face and hugged him. “Everything’s fine big brother. Wes and I are going to be great. I promise. And you won’t be far away anymore, so that’s another bonus. I expect visits.”

Spike laughed too and held her tight, “Count on it. Especially as ‘dad’ seems to want some family-bonding sessions. Whatever did I do to deserve this?”

“You wouldn’t have it any other way,” Beth said, hitting him gently on the arm. She was glad her brother was happy. And Buffy seemed happy too. She’d known everything would turn out right.

Buffy stood with Angel and Faith, glancing across at her new lover, boyfriend… ‘How can I describe Spike?’ She couldn’t really believe she was this happy. She was never happy and the feeling scared her. And Spike..? She snorted with laughter at the thought of loving her mortal enemy so completely, causing Angel and Faith to tear their eyes from each other long enough to find out why she was laughing.

Angel smiled when he saw whom Buffy was gazing at. “You two good?” he asked.

“Of course, they are. Did you see them when they got here? So B… is he good?”

“Faith!” Buffy and Angel exclaimed at once and the former Slayer laughed at the expressions on their faces.

“That good huh?” she said and laughed even harder when Buffy blushed bright red.

 “Uh, guys?” Cordelia called impatiently, as the minutes until dawn quickly slid past. “Do all the vampires want to get inside before the humans get covered in ash?” The Scooby gang wished their friends well and hugged them goodbye. Cordy climbed behind the wheel and started the engine; while Giles and Xander made a final check that no light could get into the back of the van.

Beth hugged Spike one final time and kissed his cheek. They walked hand in hand to Wesley who stood nervously by the side of the van. He’d been dreading having to talk to the blonde vampire, knowing that Spike would probably be angry at his treatment of Beth. The vampiress climbed into the back of the van and Spike turned to Wesley. “Take care of her.”

Wesley sighed in relief and smiled. “I will. I do love her.”

“Good,” Spike said nodding, “Cause if you hurt her, I’ll show you how I got my nickname.” Wesley swallowed, nodded once and climbed into the van behind Beth.

Spike walked over to Buffy, Angel and Faith, struggling to suppress his laughter.

“Oh. I know what that look means,” Buffy said as he approached. “What did you say to poor Wesley? Have you been tormenting him?”

Spike’s face displayed a look of pure innocence. “Who me?”

She punched his shoulder and he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to him and burying his face in her neck. She shrieked delightedly at the feel of his lips nibbling her skin.

Angel and Faith looked at each other, briefly smiling in amusement at the behaviour of vampire and Slayer. The sound of the van’s horn broke the couple apart and they turned back to their friends. Buffy hugged Angel and Spike, Faith. The blonde Slayer and dark vampire held each other’s eyes for a second of complete understanding before wishing each other goodbye.

“Thank you,” Spike whispered in Faith’s ear and she nodded. “And I forgive you. For that time, in the Bronze.” Her shocked eyes shot to his laughing ones. “You were right though,” he added and she burst out laughing.

“Care to share?” Buffy said appearing between the two and enfolding Faith in a hug of her own.

“I’ll tell you later Slayer,” Spike promised, moving towards Angel.

“I love you,” Buffy said softly.

“I love you too B,” Faith assured the Slayer.

“Take care of her,” Angel told Spike as he hugged his Childe for the first time in a century. “And yourself,” he added softly.

“I promise,” Spike told his Sire. “Be good.”

Angel  laughed and took Faith’s hand, and the pair joined Wesley and Beth in the van.

Epilogue

“I did that book already!”

“You might have missed something. We don’t exactly have an endless supply of books!”

“Can the two of you keep it down please?” Giles asked the vampire and Slayer without raising his head.

“He started it,” Buffy mumbled.

“Me? It was you, Miss-I-did-that-book-already. As though you get everything right first time.”

“Are they dating?” Anya asked Xander as she watched Buffy wrestle Spike to the floor of the magic shop. He nodded, catching one of the books they were researching from, as it was knocked to the floor by the movement, without stopping his reading. “Xander are you listening? Oh… never mind,” she sighed as the wrestling for dominance turned into wrestling for pleasure and the two blondes started to kiss.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be here,” Anya suggested, turning her attention to the witches on the other side of the table.

“What?” Willow asked looking up, and seeing Buffy and Spike making-out on the floor. In the two weeks since they had announced their relationship to their very relieved and happy friends, the Scooby gang had gotten used to the couple’s inability to sit through a meeting together without having some sort of argument.

The first time it had happened they had both stormed from the room angry, and Willow had been worried that her best friend would be hurt. But Buffy seemed happier than ever. In fact Willow had never seen her looking so radiant and joyous on a constant day-to-day basis.

When Willow had broached the subject with her friend, Buffy had laughed and explained that all she had ever really wanted was for someone to treat her like an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal and that Spike always made her feel special, even when they were arguing. “I know Spike loves me,” Buffy had told her, “And I love him. Doesn’t mean we’re different in anyway. We disagree, we fight; that’s normal right. All that’s different now is that I get the added bonus of  making up with him afterwards.”

Looking at the couple on the floor and knowing what was coming next from her long conversations with Buffy, Willow nodded frantically at Anya. “Yes, yes. I don’t think we really need to be here. We should go to Giles’.” She, Tara and Anya stood, each picking up a couple of promising texts, and Anya dragged Xander to his feet. “Hey!” he exclaimed, as his girlfriend pushed a pile of books into his arms. “What the..?” Anya pointed to where Spike and Buffy still lay, the four friends around the table noticing that Buffy’s denim shirt and Spike’s black silk one had been removed.

“Giles!” Willow shouted, unable to tear her eyes away as Spike’s hand slid under Buffy’s white vest, and her best friend started to tug at Spike’s white t-shirt. The Watcher looked up at Willow’s call and moved his gaze to follow that of the Slayerettes. “Oh dear God!” he yelped and grabbed his jacket from the chair next to him. He picked up his books and moved quickly to the door, the Scoobies following swiftly behind.

The vampire and Slayer were oblivious to everything but each other. Over the next few years they would laugh, cry, fight, fear, learn, care and protect. Most importantly they would love and continue to love, no matter what. And now in the silence and half-light of the magic shop, they loved. 

 The End