Your Love

Chapter Four

Beth pulled the blanket tightly over her head and made her way out into the sunlight. Spike was still asleep and she knew this would be her only chance to speak to the Watcher alone. He wouldn’t follow her during the daytime. At least she hoped not. It would be harder to find her anyway. She made her way quickly through the streets of Sunnydale along the route she’d planned out the night before. She soon arrived in the small courtyard and knocked at the Watcher’s door.

Giles set his mug down on the table and went to answer the door. He had sent Buffy home with Willow, Xander and Anya the night before, making her promise not to approach Spike until that evening. He was using the day to find out everything he could about Spike’s sister and Willow had promised to spend the afternoon searching the Internet for helpful information.

The grey blanket over the leather duster which greeted him assured him it was a vampire He was reaching behind the door for a cross and stake when the blanket spoke.

“Mr Giles? I’m sure you know who I am by now. I suppose a promise not to eat you won’t illicit an invitation?” The cultured English accent gave him a moment’s pause. Whose accent had changed then, over the past 120 years? He shook his head as he registered the inane thought and answered the girl.

“You suppose right. I’ve let two vampires into my home in the past four years and they both ended up betraying us, so if you have anything to say make it quick, or I’ll be sending you back to your brother in an urn.” A threat to Buffy always caused Giles to go into total Ripper mode, something he couldn’t control.

The blanket laughed brightly and parted, so that Giles could see the beautiful pale face and the thick auburn hair, loosely curled. Giles’ eyes widened at the vision in front of him, before he remembered who she was and quickly got himself back under control.

“When Spike said he respected you even though you were a Watcher, and human, I thought he was going mad. But now I see why. Please, I can’t kill you. It’s a moral thing, and yes I know vampires don’t have morals, but I’ve said this 100 times, we’re not all the same. There is something I need to talk to you about quite urgently.”

As Giles looked into her eyes he understood what Buffy had been talking about the previous night. Her eyes, like Spike’s, pierced your soul. There was either truth or deceit, and you never knew quite which it was at the time. “And if I kill you, Miss Summers’ll kill me, right? I don’t really fancy that. Dying young’s only fun the first time.”  Giles decided he had to know what this woman could possibly have to talk about with him and he knew that she could very well answer some of the questions that had been niggling them all since her arrival. He stepped aside.

“Please come in.”

Beth entered quickly and removed the blanket from her head. She turned to face Giles as she removed her gloves and trench coat. “Nice place,” she said, glancing around the room. She noticed the aloof expression on Giles face and decided to come to the point. “I didn’t come here to hurt anyone. I haven’t killed or fed from a human in 70 years so I promise I’m no threat to you.”

Giles raised his eyebrows at her statement. She’d surprised him, and after 4 and a half years on the Sunnydale Hellmouth, it took a lot to surprise Giles.

“Why are you here then? Family reunion?”

Beth smiled. “In a way. My brother’s last letter gave my cause for concern. So here I am, faithful sister lending her support.” She sat down on the couch and put her feet up on the table. Confused, Giles walked round to sit next to her, indicating that she should put her feet back on the floor. He placed the stake he still held on he table, and put the cross down on his lap.

“Why would Spike need your support?”

“Well, you know, with the chip and everything.” Beth replied vaguely. Now she was here she was unsure how to broach the subject. Maybe she could convince him that underneath the evil demon façade, Spike was a good guy. “And then he’s in love with Buffy.” Or she could just come straight out and say it. Beth winced at her tactlessness.

 “Spike..uh? Spike’s….uh.. Spike’s in … in love… with.. with Buffy?!” He blinked as Beth nodded.

“Mr Giles, please, you have to promise not to say anything, especially not to Buffy. He’d kill me if he knew I was telling you, but I’m worried about him. He’s having a really bad time. I want to reassure you that Spike won’t hurt her. He’s a good man, really. Loyal, well mostly, and he’s caring, generous, very loving. If you could just get past the homicidal bit…”

Giles raised his eyebrows. “It’s not really something you can overlook!”

“But he can’t hurt anyone now.” Beth saw his look. “Well, yes, he could – but he won’t. That’s the difference you see. Can’t you honestly say that Spike isn’t like other vampires? That even without his soul he can be as human as any of you? When you remember what Angelus was like, don’t you wish it had been Spike that lost his soul? He’s different. We’re different. I don’t know why. He never, ever goes for easy targets. Why do you think he fights Slayers instead of avoiding them at all costs like every other vampire? So all of this is very hard for him. Loving Buffy… it even surpasses what he felt for Dru.”

“We could give him a soul,” Giles mused quietly.

“No!” Beth shouted. That was going a little too far. Lord, Spike was going to kill her for this. She took a deep, unneeded breath and looked Giles straight in the eyes. “He’d be different, you know he would. And what if lost it and got worse. The demon doesn’t like having a soul, that’s why Angelus always appears even worse than the last time when he emerges. And trust me, you really wouldn’t want the William I knew. He was a wonderful brother, but fighting was never really his thing, and I doubt very much that battling the forces of darkness would make any difference. Remember it took Angel a good 100 years before he started to help anyone, and that was only because of Buffy. Well Spike will help Buffy, without the soul, so let’s not do that ok?” Beth was speaking quickly, desperately trying to convince Giles that a soul was not the answer. Eventually he nodded his head wearily.

“You’re right. A soul’s out of the question. But what do you want me to do?”

****

As Buffy made her way to Giles’ house that evening she decided to do a quick sweep of the cemetery. It was early, just getting dark, but Buffy hoped she’d find something to take her anger and frustration out on. And not for the first time in the last two years, Buffy wished she could take it out on Spike. As much as she hated to admit it fighting Spike had always been one of the enjoyable parts of her Slayer duties. Well if you ignored the fact that he’d almost killed her several times. He was her equal when they fought, unlike most other vampires who were dust within a few seconds. It was fun fighting Spike. A true test of her powers.

Which meant she hadn’t had a true test of her powers for over a year.  If he hadn’t had that thing in his head, he’d be useful to train with. Angel had always held back when they trained, not wanting to hurt her, even though they both knew she could hurt him a damn sight more. And Riley. We’ll he wasn’t a third as strong as her AND he didn’t want to hurt her. Men! At least Spike always gave as good as he got. Without that chip he’d been able to…

‘To kill you Buffy Summers and you know it. Stop thinking about him as anything other than your mortal enemy,’ her mind called out to her. But he could kill her. Even now. She knew that. He’d tried a few weeks ago. ‘What made him stop? He was angry and he’d been crying, and he had a shotgun pointed at your head. And instead of blowing your brains all over your front porch like you wanted him to… Yes you did… he sat down next to you and comforted you. What was that about?!’ Buffy’s mind was racing with the possibilities. She didn’t dwell on any of them too long, purposely avoiding the idea that Spike…

“Hello luv. Looking for me?”

Buffy spun around at the sound of his voice, automatically assuming a defensive pose. He raised his hands in front of her and took a step back, as he had once in the past, when he had come to ask for her help. He didn’t look like he wanted her help now. He had that mocking grin on his face, amused at the way she reacted, at the way she was standing now, not really knowing what to say.

“You wish,” she shot back relaxing a little. This she could handle. Their verbal sparing also, had always given her a thrill. Another thing she really shouldn’t dwell on. “You taken to lurking in the shadows now? Wanna help me kill a few of your cousins? Or just get the hell away from me?”  Spike’s smile grew as she spoke, which upset her even more.

“Tut, tut, pet. We both know you’re not going to hurt me, and I’d have thought you’d be only too happy for my company as I’m the only person you know, that you can have a decent conversation with when the witch isn’t around.” Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but found that there was really no way to deny the statement. Giles was like her dad, Anya and Tara she didn’t know well enough, Xander she loved like a brother but even she had to admit he got a little trying after a while, and Riley… Riley was confusing her more and more recently. They’d really have to have a proper talk soon. Damn Spike. “How do you know me so well?” It wasn’t until he answered that she realised she’d spoken aloud.

“Same way you know me love. We’re the same, you and I, apart from the vampire/Slayer thing. Two parts of the same whole, or another piece of sentimental crap like that. Take your pick.” Buffy blinked at him. He’d done it again. Said what was in her mind. She hated that.

They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Buffy’s breathing grew heavy as she looked at him. He must know there was something there between them. Something Buffy really didn’t want to deal with. Or admit. Did he feel it? That was another thing she hated about Spike. While he always seemed to know what was going on, not only with her but with her friends too, Buffy was completely at a loss when it came to him and what was in his mind. There had to be something she could say to… “I met your sister last night. Are you going to tell me why she was following me around?”

“Don’t know luv. Maybe she just wanted to get a good look at you before she ripped your throat out.” He smirked, his outward appearance not for one second betraying the confusion he felt at the way she was behaving. “She’s already killed one Slayer you know. Maybe she’s come to make it two.” Arguing with her made it easier, but not much.

Buffy laughed at his words. Yes this made it much better. Her eyes narrowed and a small smile crept across her lips. “You’ve killed two,” she taunted, “And you’ve never managed.”

****

Beth made her way quickly through the graveyard. She had spent all day filling Giles in on Spike’s life, from birth to his first glory in killing a Slayer; from his first love with Dru to his recent discovery about Buffy. He had asked intelligent questions, which made her like him even more, and had filled her in on everything Spike left out of his letters, and on Buffy’s life to date, which she had been most interested in. Eventually Giles had relaxed enough to make them some tea, an English stereotype she had no intention of giving up. In her experience she had found that tea really was the cure for everything.

Now as she travelled back to Spike’s crypt she felt uneasy as though someone was watching her. The nearer she got the stronger the feeling, until eventually she stopped and concentrated. A strange sensation ran through her and she knew immediately who was there.

“I’m really not in the mood for hide and seek tonight Dru!”

Drusilla stepped out from behind a nearby tree, her red velvet dress emphasizing her astounding beauty. She had her favourite doll clasped to her chest, a malevolent smile spread across her lovely face. “Miss Edith was awfully upset when you killed her new daddy. She was wondering what we could take of yours to make you feel the same.”

Beth’s eyes widened. After 50 years of living with Dru, and another 50 in contact with her through Spike, Beth was no longer affected by Dru’s beauty and innocent demeanour. She was mad. It was that simple. Angelus had done his job well. Drusilla was a raving loony at best and a homicidal maniac at worst. Therefore her words left Beth anxious, as she knew that a woman who had intended to create hell on Earth would have no qualms about brutally killing Beth’s loved ones.

For once Beth was grateful she didn’t have many loved ones. Just two actually and Dru didn’t know about Wesley. So that left Spike.

“Dru please. I thought you loved Spike!” Pleading; was that going to work?

“I do love my Spike. I won’t harm him. But the rest of the world. I’ve always wanted that. And with a little help from my friends, it shall be mine and then you can spend eternity in torment.” Her voice was sparkling, like an excited child talking about a new toy.

“What friends?” Beth asked, desperate to know what she was up against.

“Why, Darla and Angelus of course.” And with that she disappeared.

Beth stood fixed to the spot staring after Dru, shocked. ‘She’s lost whatever was left of her mind’, Beth thought. ‘Darla’s dead isn’t she. And Angelus..’ Well Beth could check. She ran the rest of the way to the crypt and fished her mobile out of her bag.

****

“Why haven’t you killed me?”

“What?” Spike looked confused. Of all the things he’d anticipated her saying, she had to pick the one thing he’d never thought she’d ask, and it was the one subject he should’ve known she’d raise.

“We’ve been doing this, whatever it is for three and a half years. One of us should be dead by now!”

Spike sighed wearily. He really didn’t want to have this talk with her. Not without some form of narcotic first, anyway. “Buffy…” He sounded uncomfortable and uneasy. He started to pace. “…do we have to get into this now?”

Buffy was bemused by his behaviour. They’d talked about this kind of thing before. He used stuff like this to get to her. And after what had happened the last time they had one of these talks, she really needed to know what he thought. “I want to know. You said we were dancing. You said I had a death wish and that you’d grant it. And then when I wanted you to, you stopped. Why? Are you trying to drive me insane first? Cause it’s working!”

Spike was starting to get angry. It was always the same. The mocking banter, the physical blows, and then they’d get serious and deep. He hated that. He gritted his teeth and threw his head back.

“God… You know sometimes Slayer…” He stopped pacing and looked back at her, his eyes flashing dangerously. And he stopped. She did look sincere. He sighed again. It wasn’t really any wonder she was feeling like this. She was approaching 20, her mum was really ill, she had to spend every night fighting the forces of darkness and she was dating a ‘Ken’ doll. Her life couldn’t really get much worse, now he thought about it.

“Truth?”

She nodded slowly, desperate for the answer, but not actually sure that wanted to hear it. He moved closer to her, as close as they had been that night in the alley, and stared into her eyes.

“Whenever I try to kill you, I get this close, and remember that killing you means you’re dead. Gone. Forever.”

Whatever Buffy had been expecting it hadn’t been that. She blushed at his words, unable to tear her gaze away from his beautiful piercing blue eyes. She saw his mouth move and realised he was talking again.

“And no matter how angry you make me, no matter how easy it would be to end it, if you die, then what?”

Buffy was shaking. He could read her mind.

“What’ll I have then? Nothing; except to live forever; or until Joyce catches up with me; without you…”

He trailed off. Buffy held her breath. This time she wouldn’t push him away. This time she knew she’d do the right thing.

“… bugging me incessantly.” He stepped back and smiled at her. ‘Thank God. You caught yourself just in time then my boy. You’d have found yourself on your ass in the dirt again.’ His eyes swept over Buffy’s face and he was amazed to see such shock and what looked to him, incredibly, like pain. ‘Make it better you stupid wanker, say something nice, friendly’.

Spike twisted his mouth as he searched for a suitable way to finish what he had been saying.  “And no one second of dominance is worth that.” He smiled at her again, wishing she would say something.

Buffy pulled herself together. ‘You’re a jerk, Buffy Summers, and Spike’s a jerk. Get back in control here,’ she berated herself.  “But we’re mortal enemies, remember?”

Unfortunately for Spike he remembered every conversation they’d ever had. Full Technicolor pictures and surround sound, especially that night. “Right,” he replied now, using her mocking words of two and a half years ago, “we don’t get time-outs.” He was getting more and more uncomfortable. Shouldn’t she be feeling just as awkward? “What about you? Why’ve you never done me?”

Buffy wished she’d never started this whole conversation. ‘Note to self. Keep your mouth shut!’

“I don’t know. The same I guess.” She turned away, unable to look at him while she confessed. “If I kill you I can’t fight you, I can’t argue with you. I’ll never be able to wonder what pathetic plan you’ve got lined up for me, or find out whether you’ll go back to being a ruthless bastard if you ever get that thing out your head.”

“I will!” Spike’s grin had continued to widen throughout her monologue. Really she was very cute when she was flustered. “But I promise not to kill you.”

‘Great,’ his demon mocked him, ‘let her see your still an evil creature of the night, and not an enormous Nancy-boy like all her previous boyfriends.’

“Maybe!” he clarified.

Buffy laughed. She could see he was struggling with himself over that one. ‘Well Buffy, you can’t miss the opportunity of making him feel even worse.’

“Uh-uh. Too late.” She approached him quickly, a mischievous grin on her face. “You said you wouldn’t.” She was standing directly in front of him now and their closeness made her serious. “And, amazingly… I trust you.” She leant up quickly and kissed his cheek. “Good night Spike.”

Spike watched her turn quickly and run in the direction of Giles’ apartment. He was rooted to the spot; glad that there was no way he could die of a heart attack. “She trusts me?” he whispered; wonder filling his voice at the thought. “Well, damn! She won again.”

****

He should have heard the advance, his vampire senses tuned to the blood rushing through the human body. But his attention was focused on Buffy, the mocking grin falling from his face as she disappeared across the graveyard. No one had ever confused him like this; no one had made him feel like such a fool in 120 years.

Riley approached Spike slowly, careful not to make any noise. The instruction had been clear. Spike was not to die tonight, but Riley was determined to put him out of action. His behaviour towards Buffy recently had filled Riley with a sense of jealousy he hadn’t previously encountered. Not even with Angel. Maybe it was because Buffy seemed to be so in tune with the soulless vampire, who she had protected for over a year. The scene he had just witnessed pushed his own betrayal of Buffy out of his mind. Thinking about it filled him with a rage that momentarily obscured what he was doing and he forgot his silent approach.

The noise behind him, made Spike turn quickly; his face changing in the process, to its vampiric visage. He saw Riley looming close and prepared himself for the pain that would follow his defence of himself.  Riley attacked then, launching himself at Spike and knocking them both to the ground.

Beth saw the struggle in the distance and allowed her own demon to emerge so that she could see two men better. On witnessing her brother being beaten by another man, Beth raced across the cemetery, her anger growing with every step. After 70 years the demon inside her felt a thrill at the thought of killing the human. Beth’s morals were certainly better than every other soulless vampire in the world, but where Spike was concerned the idea of not harming humans was impossible.

Riley heard Beth’s approach and jumped up hastily, retreating from the scene as suddenly as he had arrived. Beth considered chasing the human but her concern for Spike overwhelmed her. She sank to the ground next to the unconscious body of her brother. At least he wasn’t dead… well not any more than he had been before the attack. Beth used all of her strength to lift Spike into her arms, and carried him slowly back to the crypt.

Chapter Five

Buffy was looking for Riley. He had been acting very peculiarly lately and he hadn’t called her for two days. With anyone else she wouldn’t have worried, but Riley was nothing if not reliable. Usually. It simply wasn’t like him to avoid her like this. And avoiding her he must be as he wasn’t at home, or college or anywhere. People had seen him. His friends continued to tell her he was around, but he wasn’t around her, which was the problem now. 

Buffy winced at the thought that she hadn’t really noticed he hadn’t been around. She’d been so busy the last couple of days worrying about what Spike and his sister were getting up to that she hadn’t thought about him much at all. Not that she was going to fill him in on the Spike situation. Riley had a tendency to be possessive and jealous when it came to the men in Buffy’s life. And he was seriously wiggy when it came to Spike.

‘Well don’t you think he has a reason to be?’ Buffy’s mind once again betrayed her.

“No!” she emphasized aloud, refusing to compare Riley and Spike in any way.

‘And why don’t you want to compare them?’ her mind asked.

“Shut up!” she said aloud, causing Willow and Tara to look up at her from their position on the rug. Buffy had gone to the two young witches for help when the conventional methods of searching for one’s boyfriend had led nowhere. The girls were currently setting up to perform a locator spell for Riley.

“What?” Willow looked anxiously at her best friend. She had been worried about Buffy since she had heard everything Giles had had to say on the subject of Spike’s sister. Buffy didn’t seem to be worried at all, more angry than anything else. And now she was talking to herself, which wasn’t always a bad thing, but Willow wished that Buffy would confide whatever problem she had, in her.

Buffy stared at Willow, wishing there was a way that she could tell her best friend the truth. She always told Willow everything and she wanted nothing more than to spill out all the confusion that had been running through her about Spike for the last three weeks. ‘Don’t you mean three years?’ her mind called out, and Buffy shook her head violently to rid herself of the thoughts. Willow was looking at her strangely again, and Buffy kicked herself for worrying her friend.

“Nothing, I’m fine Will, really. I’m just worried about Riley, you know.”

‘Great. Lying to Willow. Guess you won’t be winning the Best-best-friend Award, yet again this year.’ Buffy gritted her teeth and smiled at Willow. She had been worried that Buffy might not accept her relationship with Tara, and that they might grow apart because of it. Buffy knew that this was never going to happen. She liked Tara, she did. And if Willow was happy, then everything was all right with her. She made a decision to have a long, intensive talk with Willow later to ensure that they were still strong. She’d even fill her in on Spike. Maybe.

****

“Why are we here?” Anya’s bored tone informed Xander that whatever he said in reply, it was going to be wrong.

“Giles asked us to come. Why don’t you ask him?” Passing the buck was always easiest on his sex life.

“Why are we here?” Anya repeated, raising her voice so that Giles could hear her in the kitchen. Xander was trying hard to control his laughter. Anya was nothing if not direct. She was always willing to ask the questions everyone else was too afraid to.

‘Like Cordelia.’

Cordelia? Xander’s eyes widened. Where had that thought come from? He looked nervously at Anya. He often thought she could read his mind, though even as a demon it had never been one of her skills. But she was just sitting there, leafing through a magazine while she waited for an answer from Giles.

‘Phew. That was close. Why are you thinking about Cordy? You haven’t thought about her for over a year. Well apart from those few times she rang to talk to Willow. And whenever Angel shows up, you can’t help wondering how she’s doing. And sometimes when you fight with Anya, you wonder whether it could have worked out with her. Well, if you’d never kissed Willow. Which you’re glad you did, because that led to having Anya, and that makes you happy. Most of the time. And kissing Willow that was nice. What? Now what are you thinking? You love Anya. Focus. Anya. If she knew the way your thoughts wandered… aren’t you glad she’s not an angry vengeance demon anymore…?’

Anya, luckily for Xander, was completely oblivious to the turmoil in his head. She was bored. But then she was usually bored nowadays. She had spent 1120 years avenging scorned women, and now she was stuck in the body of a 19 year old, trying to survive life as a mortal. And life as a mortal sucked. Big time. She looked at Xander. He seemed anxious about something. Was Spike’s sister going to bring about hell on Earth? God she hoped so. Anything had to make this existence more interesting. She hid her smile. At least there was one good thing about being human. She had Xander. And sex. That was two things. Her smile grew. Life suddenly looked better.

Xander saw Anya’s smile and frowned. She didn’t really smile all that much. Actually he couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled at him. She took everything so seriously. She must know about his un-reconciled feelings for Cordy and Willow. She was going to do something awful to him. Probably while he slept. He could see it in his mind’s eye. That night after the lovemaking, she’d bite his head off.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ his mind mocked.

‘Hey, it’s not the first time you’ve been in that situation pal,’ he argued back.

“What?” he asked aloud, refusing to let her sway him into a false sense of security.

“What?” Anya repeated, confused by his reaction.

“Nothing!” Xander relaxed slightly. At least she was frowning again.

“Men!” Anya muttered under her breath.

Giles entered the living room carrying a tea tray. “You’re here because I have something important to talk to you all about.” He set the tray down on the table and poured the three of them some tea.

“All?” Xander asked reaching for the plate of biscuits, and noting that there were only five cups. All usually meant seven.

“Yes, the three of us; Willow and Tara.”

 Giles had spent most of last night trying to set his mind straight about Beth’s revelations. He had reconciled himself to the fact that Spike was in love with Buffy. It didn’t really surprise him all that much, now he’d had a chance to think about it. What was actually bothering him was the fact that it wasn’t bothering him. Buffy should not have relationships with vampires. Hadn’t their whole experience with Angel taught them anything? But the more he considered it the more he came to the conclusion that Beth was right about Spike. He was different. Amazingly so. The previous night he had spent thinking about their past encounters with the vampire and he noticed a pattern where Buffy was concerned. He fought her. Time and time again. And he continued to come back for more, even after leaving town. But he’d never killed her. And Giles really didn’t believe it was because he couldn’t.

More and more his mind turned to Spike’s behaviour under that spell of Willow’s. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to marry Buffy, maybe he hadn’t even been in love with her then, but the spell hadn’t caused a change in character. Just a glimpse of what it would be like. Sickening, had been Giles’ initial reaction. But when he thought about it, Spike had done everything Buffy asked of him, anything to make her happy. He’d looked after Giles and curbed his annoyance with Xander.  And merely the fact that he and Buffy had fought almost non-stop when they weren’t kissing, made Giles consider it the healthiest relationship she’d ever had. Buffy never fought with her boyfriends. They all seemed to worship her. And Giles thought that, deep down, Buffy didn’t want to be worshiped; just loved.

So now he was preparing to broach the subject with the rest of the Scooby gang. He had promised Beth he wouldn’t tell anyone about Spike’s feelings, but he needed to know if they would be receptive to the idea. That was what this meeting was about. Finding out what they thought, without actually saying anything that would give the game away, so to speak. He already had an idea what their reactions would be. Willow wouldn’t mind a bit if it made Buffy happy; Tara wouldn’t mind if Willow didn’t; Anya wouldn’t care either way and Xander would be dead against it. There he’d done it all and Willow and Tara were just arriving. 

‘But she’s with Riley, idiot. Don’t you think her feelings ought to be considered?’ Giles grimaced and Willow looked anxiously at him, as she and Tara sat next to Xander and Anya on the couch. Giles smiled at them and poured them some tea while they chatted amongst themselves.

He didn’t like Riley. He didn’t know why. It was totally irrational. He just didn’t. And try as he might, he couldn’t hate Spike, so there was really no question in the matter.

****

Buffy saw her in the distance and stopped dead. She couldn’t believe it. Of all the people Buffy had hoped never to see again, she had to be at the top of the list. Yet there she was. Calmly sitting in the middle of the smallest of Sunnydale’s 12 cemeteries; having a tea party with her favourite doll.

Drusilla sensed Buffy’s approach and turned her head to look directly at her. She smiled a sweet and innocent smile; the expression belying the heartless killer within.

“Would you like to join us Buffy? Miss Edith thinks we should all try to keep our strength up.”

“Amazing,” Buffy replied coolly. “I’ve always been surprised by the intellectual capacity of that doll. Seeing as how she’s made of china and is completely inanimate.”

Dru’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t respond in any form. She merely poured some imaginary tea into one of the small china teacups and then proffered it for Buffy.

Buffy was confused. She had never actually fought Drusilla before. Never spent much time with her at all in fact. However, she had always imagined that, if they were ever to meet up again, they’d renew their acquaintance by beating the crap out of each other; not by playing make-believe in the bloody graveyard. ‘Great,’ Buffy thought, ‘Now the two of them are corrupting my speech patterns.’

Buffy took the cup cautiously and set it down on top of the nearest headstone.

“What are you doing here Dru?” Buffy really didn’t want to hear the answer to that one, but the Wicked Witch of the West had to be there for some nefarious reason.

“Do you have dreams Buffy? I have the strangest dreams sometimes. Just before I left the last time, I had a dream that you sent my Spike to hell and I was afraid. But I knew what that dream meant. Last week I dreamt about three beautiful blonde children, two boys and a girl; they were fighting at my feet, pulling on my dress. Do you know what that meant Buffy?  I just realised a few days ago. Do you know how it ended? One of the boys killed the other and the girl couldn’t do anything to stop it. Isn’t that sad?”

Buffy stared at Drusilla, thankful that she hadn’t had many conversations with her. She’d be completely barking by now otherwise. She wondered how Spike had managed to put up with her ravings for 120 years, and not gone totally off the deep end. Though this did explain some of his cynicism, sarcasm and the amazing patience he showed towards her and her friends. It also explained why he’d eventually come to her looking for help. 6 months stuck in a wheelchair with only Drusilla and Angelus for company? He must have been catatonic. But it also proved that he had loved her.

“What are you talking about?”

“He is in hell, isn’t he? Now?” Drusilla asked, staring wide-eyed at Buffy, making her feel uncomfortable.

“Who? Spike? No he’s here. In Sunnydale.”

“But you’ve created hell on Earth just for him. He won’t be happy about that.”

“Well no he’s not happy really, but look that isn’t my fault. You’re the one who left him for a scabby fungus-demon; the Initiative put that chip in his head. I think I’ve been damn good to him, considering he’s an evil vampire, who’s tried to kill me time and time again!”

“But it is your fault Buffy,” Drusilla suddenly became chillingly serious. “Spike wouldn’t care about all of that if ‘e had his heart’s desire. Do you know how long I’ve known about it? Longer than ‘im. Do you really think I stopped loving ‘im? That I left ‘im because of his little truce with you? Not the man I loved; ‘course he was. That truce just proved what I’d known all along, and it was easier for me to leave than for ‘im to admit it to ‘imself.”

“Admit what?” Buffy was interested. She still didn’t see what any of this had to do with her.

“That he loves you.”

****

Beth was fuming. She had spent the better part of last night and all of today nursing Spike. He still hadn’t regained full consciousness. He’d been in a fitful state throughout the night, the cries from his dreams telling her more than any previous conversation. At first she had been worried, as Spike should really have come around sooner. Then she discovered the needle. She’d gone back to the scene, trying to find a clue to the identity of Spike’s attacker, as he couldn’t tell her himself, and she’d found the used needle lying on the ground. The human must have drugged him. And considering the strength and vigour of vampires, it must have been very powerful. And dangerous.

Once Spike had seemed to settle down, Beth had left him to have a smoke. She stood outside the crypt, mechanically smoking the cigarette, replaying the previous couple of days in her head. Was it only yesterday that she had been to see Giles? Maybe she should go and see him again. He might be able to help her. Might give her some clue to the assailant. And even if he couldn’t, she really should tell him about Drusilla. Beth pulled the door to the crypt closed quietly and made her way quickly in the direction of Giles’ apartment.

****

“Um, well, since the arrival of Spike’s sister, I’ve been thinking a lot about… well you know, about the two of them, and Spike most especially. What I think I really wanted to know was, um, well… how you all felt about having Spike around now. He, uh, would be a useful ally if we could get him to…”

“Ally? Spike? The guy who’s been this close to killing me more than once? And not just me, Buffy and Willow, and everyone on Earth. Aren’t we forgetting he’s a vampire?” Xander was indignant. Didn’t they have enough help now?

“But he can’t hurt anyone right?” Tara commented quietly. “Maybe he could change.” She blushed as everyone looked at her and Willow reached for her hand.

“She’s right. Maybe if we gave him a soul…”

“No that’s out of the question.” Giles inserted quickly before Willow started planning her shopping list for the restoration spell. The four teenagers looked at him curiously. “No, I insist. I’ve thought it over and there are more reasons against than for in this case. Look you’ll just have to trust me.”

Willow smiled at him. “We do trust you Giles. Ok no soul spell, but I still think he could do some good you know, if we, uh…” She trailed off unable to think of what they could possibly do to make Spike join with them. She looked to Giles for the answer, but he was studiously avoiding her gaze.

“I like him.” Anya stated simply. Xander choked on his tea and looked sharply at her, as if she’d grown a second head.  “What? I do. He’s funny and nice looking, and he understands what it’s like to be me. Why shouldn’t I like him?”

“Because he’s an vicious demon who takes incredible pleasure in draining the blood of mortals like you and me.” He turned to look at Willow and Tara. “And just because he’s has that thing in his head now doesn’t mean he’s changed his eating habits for life. We all thought Angel had gone on the permanent human free diet until he started killing everyone we knew.”

Willow frowned, “But…”

“No he’s a demon. Demons don’t change!”

The room was silent. Everyone stared at Xander. What had he just said?

‘Oh no. Tell me I didn’t say that,’ his mind cried out desperately.

“Demons don’t change?” Anya’s quiet question cut through the tension like a knife. “You know Xander I’m beginning to think you’re prejudiced. I don’t think I want to date someone who can’t see past the demon. And I especially know I don’t want to sleep with one.” Anya stood up proudly and turned to Giles. “Maybe I could give Spike a reason to join us.” Xander started to sputter. “And if he doesn’t want my body, I’ll give him Xander’s head on a plate.” She walked regally out of the apartment, silently daring Xander to come after her.

Xander flopped down onto the couch and covered his eyes with his hands. Why had he done that? Why had he said that? ‘Because that’s how you really feel, moron. You just don’t remember Anya was a demon before you open your mouth.’ Xander groaned. He was really going to have to start thinking things through before he said them.

Willow patted Xander’s knee, not wholly worried by his and Anya’s argument. They were like this. Fight and make up, fight and make up. It seemed to work for them, so Willow was not going to interfere. She turned back to Giles. “I think we should give him a go, you know, like a trial run. Then if we feel uncomfortable, or he feels uncomfortable we can stop before it goes too far.”

Giles nodded. He had all the answers he needed. They were pretty much what he had expected. Though what this meant in terms of Buffy and Spike he really didn’t know.

“Yes, thank you Willow, that sounds like an excellent suggestion. Well, I’ll try and talk to him about it. Xander,” he asked the brunette who was still groaning quietly at his foolishness “…is this going to be alright with you?”

Xander didn’t remove his arms from his head; merely rocked his whole body forward and back where he sat.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

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