Your Love

Chapter One

The black car ploughed unheedingly through the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign, and came to a stop. The driver’s door opened slowly and a leather-boot clad foot thumped to the ground. The beautiful redhead then eased herself gently from behind the wheel and slammed the car door closed. She leaned back against the car and smiled, feeling in the pockets of her black leather trench coat for a packet of cigarettes. This was going to be fun.

****

Xander Harris approached the table where his three favourite girls were sitting. It was a quiet night at the Bronze. Wednesdays usually were and it gave the three best friends a chance to catch up on each other’s lives. Anya had to come too of course. There was no question. He smiled to himself as he considered his girlfriend. He really was a very lucky man to be dating such a beautiful girl, especially as she was 1120 years old. Xander’s smile grew even larger. The wackiness of life on the hellmouth. “Buff, Will,” Xander nodded at the girls as he slid into his seat next to Anya. “What’s the up?” 

Buffy twisted her lovely features in a grimace at the question. “Nothing! And it’s wigging me out. You know what all quiet of the hellmouth front means.”

Willow nodded, “Big evil, end-of-the-world type thing.”

Buffy sighed deeply and pouted. “Exactly. No fair.” The four friends looked solemnly at each other no one saying a word. The band started up a fast dance tune and Xander jumped up.

“So big evil deal. We fought it before, and we kicked it’s ass,” he pulled Anya up next to him and then held out his hands to Buffy and Willow, “Now’s dancing time.” Inspired by Xander’s up-beat mood the girls shook off their worry and followed Xander and Anya onto the dance floor.

****

Giles walked quickly down the alley that led to the Bronze. He hated having to be the one who stopped Buffy’s fun. He thought of her and her friends as his children really. He had watched them grow up over the last four years and wished not for the first time that he could give them something resembling a normal life. Still maybe there was nothing to worry about this time. He just had a bad feeling.

****

Buffy spotted Giles from the dance floor. He was peering around the room, obviously searching for someone. Buffy sighed. “The evil has landed!” she said aloud and gestured to her friends that Giles was at the door. As they walked wearily across the room towards him, Buffy saw Giles’ face visibly relax. He smiled as they approached and tried not to look desperate. “Giles,” Buffy raised her eyebrows, “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, well not really. It’s just a feeling. Déjà vu. The sign on the edge of town, a car has mowed it down. Probably just an accident but it made me think…” he trailed off.

“Of Spike,” Buffy picked up where he left off. The same thing had happened when Spike first arrived and again when he returned and kidnapped Willow and Xander.

“Well it can’t be Spike right?” Willow chipped in, “I mean he’s tucked up in his crypt isn’t he?”

Giles nodded. “As far as I know. And he’d have no need to…”

“Other than to cause trouble.” Buffy interrupted. She wouldn’t put it past him. “But if it’s not Spike and we’re thinking hellmouth, who is it?” Giles winced and Buffy knew what was coming. It was time for her to go hunt for the evil. She turned and smiled at her friends. “You guys stay here. Have fun for me! I mean it,” she insisted off their looks. She turned back to Giles. “I’ll do a sweep and meet you at your place later. Find out if anything else of the strange has been happening.” She gave a beaming smile to all her friends and started to march toward the door. First stop Spike.

****

As she crossed the cemetery that held Spike’s crypt, the vampires attacked her. There were only three and she set about dusting them quickly. She threw the first one backwards over her shoulder, sending him crashing into the side of a mausoleum. The second grabbed her from behind, while the third approach her head on. She leaned back against the vampire holding her and pushed up, catching the advancing vampire’s head between her feet. She twisted her body and his neck snapped, before he fell to the ground. As her legs fell back down she slammed her head back, hitting the vampire in the face. He let go reflexively and she used the moment to drive the stake through his heart. Quickly bending she dusted the vampire lying before her, standing just in time to catch the first one who had regrouped and was charging at her once more. 

Buffy was breathing heavily; her heart pounding from the rush of adrenaline, when she heard the slow clapping behind her. She spun around, poised to fight, while a small voice at the back of her mind told her she’d done this before.

A tall, slim woman with auburn hair stepped from behind a tree. There was something about her that made Buffy stop. She too seemed familiar. Something in her face and stance reminded her of someone. Before she could finish the thought, the woman spoke. She was English. Her accent polished like Giles’. Was that who she reminded her of? “Nice work love,” the woman spoke almost mockingly. She stared at Buffy, her ice-blue eyes seeming to bore right through to her soul. “Makes sense now. And I must admit I like you more than Dru, and you haven’t even spoken yet.”

“Who are you?” Buffy asked, not needing to know the answer now. The eyes gave it away. The woman reminded her of Spike, the mention of Drusilla confirming something. Buffy didn’t know what. “You’ll find out!” the woman smirked; the exact same smirk Spike had when he knew he was winning, and walked away.

Buffy knew what her own feeling of déjà vu was now. The entire experience had been almost a carbon copy of her first meeting with Spike. Except that that time she had been left confused and scared. This time she was angry.

****

Spike heard the polite knock at the door and turned in time to see her enter. His eyes lit up and he ran across and spun his sister off the ground. “Beth!” he cried, “What are you doin’ here?” He placed her back on her feet and shook her gently. “I thought you were in England. You’re not in trouble are you?”

Beth laughed up at her brother. “No, I’m not in trouble big brother. When I got your last letter I thought it was time I saw this Slayer of yours for myself.”

Spike turned away. “She’s not mine.” He whispered; so quietly she wouldn’t have heard him if she hadn’t been a vampire.

“Well maybe I can do something about that too. Does she know? About you? Your feelings?”

Spike winced, “No and I don’t want her to. And I don’t want you talking to her either!”

“Too late,” Beth told him as she circled the crypt. “And what can she do. Kill me? Good way to go right? Dying in battle. You taught me that. You didn’t tell me to stay away from the other one. The Italian. I kicked her ass!” she laughed at the memory. Spike stared at his much-loved sister, his brain focusing only on the first part of her statement. “What do you mean, ‘too late’?”

Chapter Two

Buffy stormed angrily to Giles’s house. Her first thought had been to go straight to Spike’s crypt and confront him, but as she had considered it she thought Spike might not survive the encounter. Therefore she was on her way to Giles’s to try and find some information on the woman who so vividly reminded her of her mortal enemy.

****

Spike was pacing, dragging furiously on the cigarette between his fingers. Beth stared at her brother in wonder. She had never seen him like this before. He was usually so calm and in control. Even on the odd occasion she had seen him lose the tight rein he kept on himself, on the demon within, he had always seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

His relationship with Drusilla hadn’t exactly been a perfect match in her opinion. Spike had worshipped the crazy bitch, and she had always seemed to reciprocate the feelings, but Beth had never trusted her. She hadn’t loved Spike as much as he had loved her. The demon within Beth hated having to admit there was something different about her and her brother. A piece of humanity remained. Something which allowed them to feel love and, to a certain extent, guilt. Not a soul exactly. But something.

As Beth watched her brother she imagined the torment he must be going through. Falling truly in love for the first time when you had just been turned into a vampire was disturbing. Losing that love after a hundred years was shattering. But to then fall in love with your mortal enemy, who just happened to the Slayer, the scourge of your kind, was simply shameful.

She understood completely and it didn’t matter to her. As long as her twin was happy, she was happy. But Spike had never liked to lose face. He was very proud. He needed reassurance and Beth knew that if Miss Buffy Summers ever came round to the idea, he wouldn’t give a damn what anyone else thought or said or did, he’d simply love her as much as he could. Buffy might not know it yet, but she was a very lucky young lady.

****

Giles jumped at the sharp knock at the door. He stood and made his way to answer it. It was probably Buffy. “Giles!” the angry shout from outside confirming his thought. It must have been Spike after all. Tormenting her. Giles gave a small smile. The two of them fought like children in a schoolyard. If they hadn’t hated each other so much Giles would have thought that they…. He was reminded of the previous year when one of Willow’s spells had left the two believing they loved each other and planning a wedding. He gave a small shudder at the thought and opened the door.

The small blonde whirlwind that entered his apartment looked incredibly pissed. Giles was almost afraid to ask what was wrong. He was just picking up the courage when she spoke. Her voice was low and her teeth were clamped together. This was never a good sign. “Does he have family?” She didn’t really need to clarify whom. Buffy only got that look in her eyes when she was talking about Spike.

 “I don’t think so. None that could be living anyway, he’s over 120 years old Buffy.” Giles walked towards his bookcase, finding the book that detailed Spike’s history. Now he came to think of it there had been a mention of a….

“None living, but what about another vampire? Sister most probably.” Buffy was pacing the living room, talking almost to herself. “It was there in her eyes. I know it was.” Giles looked at her oddly and went back to searching the text.

****

Spike didn’t want to talk about Buffy. It would just depress him. And as had already fulfilled his misery quota for the decade, he turned the conversation instead to his sister. He didn’t know exactly why she was here. He didn’t doubt that she’d come because of the letter, and he didn’t doubt she was on his side, but he didn’t think she was telling him the whole truth.

“How did you get here anyway?” he asked.

“By way of Brazil. Paid a visit on my much unloved sister-in-law and found her shacked up with a fungus demon… whom I simply had to kill. Pity really he seemed like a nice bloke.”

Spike laughed out loud. God it felt like ages since he’d laughed, but the image of Dru’s demon-lover being done in by his little sister was too much. They laughed together for a while, recapping what had happened in each other’s lives lately. Each of them leaving out an important detail. But Beth could not stay silent on the subject of the Slayer forever. 

“You know Will, the man I used to know would have told her by now. Wrote her a sonnet or something. And I’m not talking about the wishy-washy crap you used to write for maidens in drawing rooms, I’m talking about that burning passion stuff you used to keep locked in your desk drawer.”

Spike stared at his sister in shock. She wasn’t supposed to know about those poems. No one was. But then he probably shouldn’t be surprised. He could never keep anything from her.

“I can’t tell her. It’s bad enough I feel like this without having to face her with it. She’ll just laugh in my face and run off to that wet ponce she’s dating.” Spike’s eyes narrowed at the thought of Riley. Angel had been bad. That Parker bloke had been pathetic. But Riley. What exactly did she see in him? If he could have thought of one thing about Riley that didn’t make him want to rip his throat out, Spike would probably have spontaneously combusted from shock.

Beth thought it was time she told Spike the truth. Maybe if she shared her secret they’d be able to help each other. “You’re not the only one who’s in love with the wrong person Will.”  Spike eyed her curiously. He’d known there was something she was keeping from him.

“Who is it? What’s he done to you? If anyone’s hurt you I swear…” Beth smiled sadly at the look in her brother’s eyes. She lowered her head.

“No, no-one’s hurt me. It just went wrong. My fault really.”  She looked up at her brother. “He was… is a watcher. Runs in the family you see.” Beth tried to laugh it off, but the pain of the last few years was catching up with her and the tears she had been trying to hold back for Spike’s sake started to roll down her pale cheeks.

****

“The book mentions a sister. A vampire, turned about two months after Spike. There’s only one other mention of her. She killed a Slayer in Italy in the ‘20’s. That was the last anyone heard of her. She must have kept in touch with Spike though. If she’s here.” Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he spoke. Buffy had sat silent throughout and he was starting to worry about her. “Are you worried about this girl? She killed a Slayer, but Spike killed two and you’ve never been afraid of him when fighting, have you?”

Buffy looked up at Giles shocked. How was she supposed to answer that? Not the truth obviously. He worried about her enough as it was. If he knew…. “No not afraid.” She made up her mind to stick to the facts. And it was true, after the first time, she hadn’t been afraid. So it wasn’t lying, just omission. Buffy decided to get back to the matter at hand.

“I’m not afraid of her, I just want to know why she’s here. If it was just a family reunion why did she come and watch me fight? Why did she use exactly the same words Spike used? And the other thing. “Makes sense now” What’s that supposed to mean? None of it makes sense.” Buffy slumped wearily back on the couch. She knew she was going to have to face Spike and his sister sometime if she wanted answers. But she wanted to be prepared.

****

Spike held his sister as she wept. He felt terrible. He’d been so busy pouring out all of his feelings for Buffy in his letters over the past few months, he hadn’t even realised anything was wrong with Beth. He wondered who this bloke was. After 120 years his little sister had fallen in love and she’d fallen in love with a watcher. What a family! He’d always known he and Beth were different, something he didn’t like to think about too often. He’d accepted long ago that he could feel things other demons, other vampires, couldn’t. How else could he love the Slayer? He started to laugh again.  What a pair they were.

Beth looked up at Spike, her eyes wide as he started to laugh. The hopeless irony of it all got to her too and she began to laugh. What was the matter with them? Spike put Beth away from him and went to fetch them something to eat. Giles had supplied him with a generous quantity of blood bags from the hospital. It wasn’t the same as drinking from a human but Spike couldn’t and Beth wouldn’t; Spike gave a small smile and shook his head. Two more hopeless vampires he’d never known.  He poured the blood from two of the bags into two mugs and passed one to his sister. Beth raised an eyebrow at the blood filled mugs. “This way we can pretend.” He said defensively. Beth smiled and drank hungrily from the mug.  “So this bloke, this watcher of yours,” Spike needed to know what had upset his sister so much.  “Who is he? What’s his name?”

Beth hesitated. She knew Spike was trying to make up for the months she had to listen to non-stop talk of Miss Summers, but she didn’t know exactly how to tell him.  She thought she should start from the beginning.

“His name is Wesley.”

Chapter Three

“So we’re thinking this is bad?” Xander looked back and forth between Buffy and Giles as the gang sat in Giles’ apartment. Willow had become worried about Buffy facing whatever danger there was alone and had called Giles from the Bronze to ask if Buffy had checked in. Once Giles had assured her Buffy was fine, he asked her to bring Xander and Anya to his apartment for a meeting.

“I’m thinking very bad,” Buffy confirmed. “The whole situation was seriously wiggy. Maybe I should just go talk to them!”

Willow looked nervously at her friend and then up at Giles who was pacing behind the couch.

“Don’t you think you should try and find out a little more about her first? I mean if she’s as bad as Spike… and without that chip, well, you know, she could…” Willow trailed off as the others stared at her wide-eyed.  “Sorry.”

“Well, no, I think you’re right Willow. It would be more helpful if we knew something about this girl, but I’m sorry to say there’s no one who can tell us much about her, ex.. except, uh, Spike.”

Giles rubbed his hand over his face. He was worried. Between them, Spike and his sister would be a formidable force. And Giles had realised long ago that the only thing stopping Spike from killing anyone was the fear of the pain, which followed an attack. And at some point Spike might be willing to forbear the pain in order to kill Buffy.

****

“I met him in London. It was about 3 years ago. We, uh, bumped into one another at the theatre. He was so… I don’t know. There was something. I mean he’s not exactly handsome. Good-looking in a weird kind of way. And his voice is sort of… as if he’s been taught to speak with an English accent. Not wrong just far more refined than anyone’s should be. And he was so sweet, I mean straight-laced and uptight, but sweet. I wanted to get underneath that controlled front he put up and get to know the real man. He bought me a drink and we talked about the play, it was ‘Twelfth Night’ by the way, your favourite, and he asked me if I’d like to have dinner with him. I know I should have said no. But for that hour we had talked I had forgotten I was a vampire. Forgotten everything except how good I felt about life when I looked at him. So I said yes.

We had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks when I found out he was a Watcher. I had heard something about an attack that prat Pel had planned on the council and I went to try and stop him. I know, don’t care about the council, but I did want to stop Pel. Stupid sod never could remember when to give up gracefully. Anyway I waited outside for them to show when I saw Wes coming out of the building. If my heart had been beating it would have stopped. I was so shocked I could hardly move. By the time I’d sorted Pel out it was too late for me to go after Wesley and I just had to go home. The next night I went to see him. I told him everything…

                “Beth. Please come…”

“No Wesley. Before you say anything there’s something I have to tell you… show you. I’m a vampire.”

               “What?!”

 As my face changed I saw his hand reach inside his coat for a cross. I felt tears rise up in my eyes and I knew it would take a lot for me to convince him. But I had to Will. The pain I felt when he looked at me like I had betrayed him, as though I was the lowest creature on Earth, it was almost too much to bear.

“Wesley, please listen to me. If I’d wanted to kill you don’t you think I’d have done it by now? I’ve had every opportunity. And I didn’t have to tell you before you invited me in. I stopped you, because you mean a lot to me, and if you let me explain…”

“Explain what? You’re a vampire. Vampires should die!”

“Please half an hour. We’re not all the same. Some of us… some of us can do good.”

I don’t know what it was that made him relent. Maybe he loved me as much as I loved him. He listened to the whole story, not saying one word until I’d finished.

“This is going to be a long story. I’ll have to start 142 years ago. My elder brother, Marcus, was 12 when my twin brother and I were born in August 1858. As Duke of Falham my father owned a great estate in Oxfordshire where we lived for the first 16 years of my life. Marcus taught us to ride and hunt. He taught us to dance and encouraged us to learn. My governess was more concerned with me needlework and watercolour than the improvement of my mind but I wanted to know everything. My brother, William and I would talk constantly about the things we had read, encouraging each other and debating with each other. We knew each other better than anyone else in the world. We knew that there was a passion inside us, a passion for life and love and learning, something that scared us. It wasn’t a time when people were open and honest about their feelings, especially not young ladies, but with Will I could be myself, just as he could be himself with me.

When we were 11 our father died in a hunting accident. Marcus became Duke of Falham at the very young age of 23. He handled it wonderfully. Ruled the estate, helped us in our studies, and when we reached 18 he took us to London for the Season. William fell in love. A hundred times. With each beautiful girl he saw. He wrote them poems, awful poems really, but the passion had to find an outlet. I knew that inside his feelings were stronger, not as insipid as they seemed, but he was afraid to let go and show what he truly felt. Every year we’d go back and every year he’d have a new love.

By the time we were 22 Will had become the joke of the season. His poems were mocked and it gave me pain to see him so hurt. He’d never bat an eyelid in public, but at home he’d cry for the love he wanted so desperately. I was engaged to be married. Lord Rotherham was not the love of my life but at 22 you took what you could get. He wanted my money and I didn’t want to be an old maid. That year William fell in love with a scheming little baggage called Cecily. He couldn’t see what she was. Could only pour out his love for her over and over. She wanted a title you see and Lord William James was never going to be as good as the Duke of Falham. William being the second son would never inherit the title. She wanted Marcus.

One night as my mother and I were going up to bed there was a loud banging at the door. It was close to 1 in the morning and the disturbance shocked us a little. The man at the door was half carrying, half dragging my elder brother. Marcus had been shot at his club. The man had been arrested but my brother was fatally injured. He died about half an hour later in his bed.

My mother collapsed and had to be put to bed. I waited up for William. He was Duke of Falham now you see, ironic really when you think about Cecily. I wanted him there with me, to tell me everything was going to be alright. At half two I felt a rushing pain in my stomach. They say that twins always know when one is in danger and I felt it. I knew. They found his body in a lonely back alley, not far from the house he had been at that night, attending a party.

Both of my brothers dead the same night. My mother couldn’t cope. She simply gave up living. She died a month later. After that there was nothing left for me to live for either. The wedding had to be postponed. Lord Rotherham was very kind, but I really didn’t care whether I lived or died.

About two months later there was another knock on the door. It was even later this time around 3 in the morning. I had fallen asleep in the library and went to answer the door myself. There was a man there. Tall, dark, broodingly handsome. He told me he could take me to my brother; he could take me to William. We could be a family again. I wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe I thought it was some kind of dream. I asked his name and he smiled and said ‘Angel’. An angel I thought. It is a dream. So I went with him. Right then, without telling anyone where I was going or even that I had left the house.

He took me to an old boarded up house and pulled me down the alley at the side. When we reached the back garden he yanked me by the hair and pushed my face up against the window. I knew then it wasn’t a dream. He’d hurt me. I was going to die and I knew it and I didn’t care. ‘Look’ he growled in my ear and I peered inside the old house. My brother, my William was sitting there at a table with two beautiful girls. I was shocked, scared, confused. I turned to ask the man holding me when I saw his face… He bit into my neck and lifted one hand to scratch the side of his face, drawing blood. ‘Drink’ was all I heard and I did, not knowing what I was doing; not caring what happened to me as long as I had my brother.

When I finally came to a few days later Will was there waiting for me. He looked so anxious and angry. I threw my arms around him and he hugged me as though his life depended on it. Only it didn’t. Our lives depended on nothing but blood from then on. He’s never forgiven Angelus for doing that to me. We’re different you see, Will and I.  I don’t know. Maybe if I’d known what was going to happen; what I was going to become… No I’d still have done it. There was no choice really. I’d have died alone without my family you see. At least that way I could still have something.

He looked after me, made sure I was always safe and I travelled with him. Going everywhere he went. He changed his name after a while. Spike. There’s a funny story about that… but I don’t suppose you’d want to hear it. He’s killed two Slayers you know. I was so proud. Of all his achievements and he of mine. I was there for the first one. During the Boxer rebellion. He started dating Dru after that. Mad bitch. I never liked her. She didn’t really deserve him. And she hated me back twice as much. I took his attention away from her you see.

In 1929 we were in Italy. Venice. The most romantic place on Earth, so they say. Will and Dru were having a great time, but I was bored. Bored with the unlife. I wanted to die. I found out there was a Slayer nearby, fighting the forces of darkness, as they do. I went looking for her. Left my brother a note telling him I loved him and why I was going to do what I was going to do.

I found her easily enough. I should have just stood there and let her stake me I suppose, but I wanted to go fighting, some sort of pride I expect. So I fought her. And as I fought her I stopped wanting to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to beat her. I wanted to kill the Slayer. And I did. Killed her. Drank her and then tossed her into the Grand Canal.

And then I cried.

I haven’t killed anyone since that day. Maybe I grew a conscience, I don’t know, but I can’t kill anyone anymore. Can’t even drink from them. In 70 years I haven’t harmed another human being.

Now Wesley I don’t know if you can understand this, deal with this, or trust me. But I love you. In 142 years I’ve never loved anyone else. Please, can we work through this?’

 And he said yes. Just like that. Then he kissed me and we… you don’t want to know. And we were happy. For 6 months we were happy. But then he had to leave; he had to come here, to Sunnydale to look after a Slayer. We fought. Said things we didn’t mean. I told him I’d go with him but he was angry. He said he didn’t trust me around a Slayer. It felt like he’d hit me. I know he didn’t really mean it but that was it. The end. I left and I never saw him again. I’ve heard things about him. Kept in touch with the news but… He’s in LA with Angelus. Working for him. It’s hell you know. Being this close to him and not being able to…”

Beth looked across at Spike who was staring at her intently and nodding his head. Of course he knew how it felt. Wasn’t it far worse for him seeing Buffy every day and not even being able to tell her how he felt?

“I’m sorry Will.” He smiled at her. He knew she was worried about him. They’d get through this. Together they’d help each other.

****

As Riley approached the clearing in Breaker’s Woods his heartbeat quickened and his breathing became shallower. He could see her in the distance, waiting for him. She was the one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. She and Buffy; the two women held his heart and as the days passed he became more and more confused. Buffy was the sun, the day; sparkling and joyous. The woman he approached now, she was the moon. Mysterious with a hint of danger and passion. She heard him draw near and turned, her black eyes locating him instantly in the night. He saw then. He knew. This was the true love. Buffy had never really been his and he was glad of that now. He smiled at her, knowing that soon Buffy would understand why she should have loved him as this woman did. A slow menacing smile spread across her beautiful alabaster face.

“Hello luv. Mummy’s got a surprise for you.”  

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